Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Mistress Strangelove: Chapter 2: My Inner Bimbo

Mistress Strangelove or : How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Kinks

The (Mis)Adventures Of A Reluctant Mistress

Chapter 1 : A Shopping Addict Is Born
Chapter 2 : My Inner Bimbo
Chapter 3 : If The Nuns From My Catholic Grade School Only Knew
Chapter 4 : With Bells On
Chapter 5 : Would You Dance With Me?
Chapter 6 : Its Harder Than Walking And Chewing Gum
Chapter 7 : One Woman's Porn Is Another Woman's Research
Chapter 8 : 'With Bells On' In Real Life


Festooned out in pretty, blue silks with scripts for removing them (How cute! *blush* *giggle*), blond hair (only a few shades more bimbo than my real life hair), stripper heels (they were a bargain - they changed color *and* had sexy walk. I *saved* money by buying them.) In no time, I was a walking, talking, undulating advertisement for sex. I was out shopping for clothes, and I was affronted when some guy walked up to me and instant messaged, "Wanna fcuk [sic]?"

"How dare he say that to *me*?"

"Who does he think *I* am?"

"I'm not some cheap hooker that can be treated like that!"

"He didn't even talk to me first. I am used to dinner at the very least before guys work up the courage to say that to me. Okay, maybe just drinks sometimes."

"Oooo, look at that sexy outfit - I'd look *hot* in that!"

I was shopping at the time and I noticed an outfit I'd overlooked before. Righteous indignation has no place when confronted with pretty clothes - a girl's got to have her priorities.

In Real Life my blond hair acts as a superconductor - common sense and critical thought flow out of my head without resistance and ditziness enters unrestrained.

The epiphany happened later that day when I was adjusting a newly purchased shape that had the cutest face. I was giving it the correct body proportions by trying to recreate my real life appearance. After all, I'd seen those sex-pots walking around and I didn't want to end up looking like a trashy slut.

Looking down in real life...

"Hmmm, bigger boobs, I've always wanted bigger boobs."

Adjust.

"Maybe a bit bigger than that."

Adjust.

"Guys really like big boobs."

Adjust.

"Doesn't this darned slider go any higher?"

"Oh well, take *that* Suzie for developing earlier, filling out your cheerleader uniform better than I did, and beating me out to be prom queen all because your boobs were bigger than mine, now I'm bigger than you!"

"Hah! I showed her."

Cue smugness over winning a moral victory.

"Hmmm, now for the waist. Darn, I haven't exercised enough lately. Don't want it to be *too* real."

Adjust.

I promised myself, "When I get done with playing Second Life, I'll go back to exercising more..."

Adjust.

"Doesn't this darned slider go any lower?"

"How about the butt? I have a great butt - or so I've been told. I have that nailed."

Adjust.

"Perfect. Hmmm, you know those chicks that can stick out their butt and stop traffic? That'd be nice. More, god I abhor the word, bootilicious. Why is that word stuck in my head? I have to find a more refined word for it - I'm not trashy. A little more *that word I won't use* couldn't hurt - guys like that, don't they?"

Adjust.

"Maybe a bit more."

Adjust.

"Perfect."

I sit back and I look at my handiwork - a "slightly" idealized version of myself.

"God, I look like some teenage, wet-dream version of Barbie. Okay, the boobs are too big, I have to reduce the boobs. Smaller boobs will make it all better."

Reduce.

"Sheesh, that slider really reduces the boobs a lot for a little move down. Okay, maybe a little bigger."

Adjust.

"Hmm, they still don't look *too* big."

Adjust.

"Doesn't this darned slider go any higher?"

"Okay, maybe a less bimbo shade of blond will fix it. Back to the one like my real life hair."

Rez.

"That's a bit drab. A little lighter won't make me look like a bimbo."

Rez.

"Still a bit too dirty blond. One more shade lighter."

Rez.

"Perfect, now that's better and I don't look too much like a bimbo."

"Hey, isn't that the one I started with?"

The light finally dawned on me because my superconducting blond hair finally brought in a little, rather than draining it all away.

"I *am* a bimbo! No, that can't be right, I'm respectable, I have a corporate job and an office. I am *not* a bimbo."

Visions of being a cheerleader in high school entered my head. Scenes of abasing myself in short skirts and falling all over cute guys abounded. I recalled dumbing down my words so they wouldn't feel intimidated, a fact which always shocks me.

"That's not enough to make me a bimbo, is it?"

Visions of super-short, tight mini-skirts and high heels going to dance clubs to tease men entered my head. What about all the cleavage I show and the big hoop earrings?

"Darn, I am a bimbo."

An inner dialogue ensued where cognitive dissonance debated with my inner critic who decided to make her voice heard. She saw her opening and was attacking with a vengeance.

"But I like to dance, I took ballet for years. The skirts keep me cool in the hot dance clubs, they're *practical*. The heels make my legs look sexy. I can't be a bimbo for liking dancing and wearing 'practical' skirts, can I?" I reasoned like Socrates.

"What about the high heels?" my inner critic observed.

"A *little* sexy isn't enough to make me a bimbo, is it?"

"The big hoop earrings?" came the retort.

"Everyone likes hoops." I gamely try to counter.

"But, that big?"

"Okay, a little trashy, but definitely not a bimbo."

"All the cleavage?" The stare from my inner critic was palpable.

"Okay, okay, but only a little bit bimbo."

Visions of the 2" platform, black patent 6" heeled hooker boots sitting in the back of my closet entered my head. The uses to which I've put them made me blush.

"But they're only for use in the bedroom or on Halloween, you can't be a bimbo for being sexy in the bedroom and for wearing sexy outfits on Halloween, can you?"

My inner critic remained silent. I raced to fill the silence with excuses.

"Look, I was in sports in high school, I was on the math and science teams, I can program a computer, I have geek cred. I was more than just a cheerleader. I can't be a bimbo if I was on the math team, can I? I majored in science in college, I work in IT, I can't be a bimbo." I pleaded, desperation entered my inner voice.

"You drank a lot and slept with a lot of guys in college, you had numerous one night stands," came the accusation.

"That makes me slutty, not a bimbo." The illogic of that statement escaped me at the time, I was grasping for anything at that point.

"One word, 'thongs'." My inner critic snapped.

"No panty lines?" I offered up, whimpering and realizing that I don't own a pair of underwear that covers any portion of my butt. Which made me blush. Then, came the realization that I don't wear underwear under a couple of outfits because even my skimpy underwear is too much. The red deepened.

My inner critic glared at me. I withered under her baleful stare.

"Define bimbo," I cried using the last, desperate refuge of a pedant.

"You." The word gently, quietly echoed from my inner critic.

A few minutes of uncomfortable self-reflection passed, about all my attention span could handle, but I had the answer.

"Okay, I'm going to be the *best* bimbo ever." I resolved.

Day two on Second Life was nearing an end and I finally realized that deep down I was a bimbo. Being comfortable with the fact that I *enjoyed* being that way would take a long time; I still struggle with it and somehow feel its wrong. Thank you Catholic school upbringing and women's lib for making me feel guilty for living my life the way I want. As always, when confronted with the truth and finally made to accept it, I decided to dive completely in and revel in the consequences. A pattern I have repeated many times in my life.

I am still abasing myself in short skirts and falling all over cute guys, but now I won't compromise and dumb down my vocabulary, I have standards.

Cue smugness over winning a moral victory.

Next Post: Chapter 3: If The Nuns From My Catholic Grade School Only Knew

Monday, March 26, 2007

Vint's An Official Flirt Now

Vint Falken did a humorous breakdown of her answers to questions about her SL self when joining the SLFlirt website. Very similar to my post about joining Blogger. Its very amusing and the wry observations about the 'cookie cutter' approach of the website not taking into account SL differences from RL are perfect.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Mistress Strangelove: Chapter 1: A Shopping Addict Is Born

Mistress Strangelove or : How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Kinks

The (Mis)Adventures Of A Reluctant Mistress

Chapter 1 : A Shopping Addict Is Born
Chapter 2 : My Inner Bimbo
Chapter 3 : If The Nuns From My Catholic Grade School Only Knew
Chapter 4 : With Bells On
Chapter 5 : Would You Dance With Me?
Chapter 6 : Its Harder Than Walking And Chewing Gum
Chapter 7 : One Woman's Porn Is Another Woman's Research
Chapter 8 : 'With Bells On' In Real Life


I joined Second Life during the great media hype-fest of Autumn 2006. Intrigued by what I read, I signed up for an account, downloaded the client, and logged in for the first time. It was free and all I had to do was provide a credit card number to get L$250 - what a deal! I had lots of cash and was prepared to spend it.

Logging in for the first time, I walked through the basic tutorial but lingered for a long time at the 'customizing your avatar' section. Entranced by the number of options, I proceeded to spend over an hour tweaking my avatar's shape and look - all the while getting more frustrated that I couldn't make it look exactly the way I wanted. I learned a lot about objects, copying, inventory, and finally how to add textures to clothing. One hour into Second Life, I had a blue satin dress and was a budding clothing designer - this place was awesome.

Finally, declaring my look 'good enough', I wandered out into the broader Second Life world and was astonished at the variety of avatars I saw in the first few minutes of standing around with the other newbies. People walked by with flowing hair that actually looked good. Then I saw my first silk. Wow! clothing that moved as you walked. I was itching to find out where to buy these things because I had L$250 and it was burning a hole in my purse. Soon, I too would be dressed to kill, I thought. Anger over the wasted hour of adjusting burned away in my fever to begin shopping. Any notion of sampling the art, culture, and activities of Second Life had to wait until I looked decent, a little shopping and then I could go do 'worthwhile' things.

Discovering search, I began to wander around looking for hair, shoes, and clothes. I reasoned that with L$250 I should be able to get one complete set of everything. The first place I looked was selling hair for L$250 - I was shocked, how could they get away with charging so much money? So, I looked some more and came to the realization that L$250 was chump change. Shopping some more, I found hair and a pair of color change high-heeled shoes that totalled L$250. Now, I was ready to find out how to make money in Second Life. All the news articles I read about Second Life seemed to indicate the streets were paved with gold and the taps were gushing hot and cold running money. In no time I should be raking in piles of cash and be able to shop all I want. Not ready to start my own business yet and believing I needed some seed money, I went to find a job to pave my way to Second Life riches.

"What! you make L$18 per *hour* of dancing?"

"You make *how* much helping others?"

"I won't do that for all the money in Second Life!"

The realization was dawning that you had to be in Second Life for a while to qualify for just about any 'real' job. Even then, they all paid trivial amounts of money. It appeared I would have to work for most of a day just to afford a decent pair of shoes, hair, or set of clothes.

Day one of Second Life ended on a low note for me, but I didn't forget all the fun I had customizing and exploring.

Day two dawned and I was still fascinated by the possibilities of Second Life, but the daunting task of making enough money to really enjoy it was dragging me down. I wandered around despondant until I ended up talking to some people with *real* Second Life experience - they were born over *two months* before me. Then came the moment that forever changed Second Life and my bank account for me...

"You can *buy* Lindens!? I wish they would have told me that before."

"They did, where?"

"Oh, I didn't read that, I was too excited about getting started to read the directions."

Remembering the number I provided to get my first L$250, I realized my credit card was already hooked up as the IV to my Second Life purse. All I had to do was choose "Buy L$..." A brief curse went up to the clever, sneaky bastards at Linden Labs as I had a vision of my future credit card bills laid out before me, but then a rush of crass consumer euphoria swept away all resistance. I voluntarily sacrificed my credit cards to the idol of conspicuous consumption and felt admiration for Linden Lab's well-played business move hooking me into spending money with them. That cleverness deserved a reward I reasoned; I could spend some spare money with them and help them out. I could stop anytime I wanted. Now, I realize the L$250 was exactly analogous to the "first hit is free".

"L$1000 ought to be enough to tide me over until I start making money," I believed. "One or two nice outfits ought to be enough for a few days until I start to make money. With my programming experience and obvious good taste, I should be cranking out products in no time. I can give up Starbucks for tomorrow."

"Okay, one more thousand, Starbucks will have to wait two days."

"Skins cost how much? A decent animation overrider? Fine, *five* thousand more and that's it. That's a lot of money, it ought to be enough. How could I spend that much? I was meaning to give up coffee anyway."

I was hitting the 'pay' button like a crack addicted rat allowed to control its own drug supply.

A few hours later on my second day in Second Life, L$10,000 had flown out of my hands and into the pockets of merchants with pretty clothing, shoes, shapes, skins, hair, animations, and various and sundry things that spoke directly to the shopping addict deep in the core of my soul.

Next Post: Chapter 2: My Inner Bimbo

Mistress Strangelove

I'm about to begin posting my Second Life memoirs. My life, in general, resembles a sitcom, and I thought others would appreciate some of the anecdotes. The story begins on my first day in Second Life.

The title of this series is:

Mistress Strangelove or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Kinks

The (Mis)Adventures Of A Reluctant Mistress

Friday, March 16, 2007

Places I Want To See

Natalia has posted a list of places to see in Second Life with descriptions, including Gardens, Real World immitations, Role Playing, and just interesting Things To See.

Fear Of Barbie's Big Boobs

Melissa Yeuxdoux writes about her fear of being labeled a Barbie for being tall, thin, and having large breasts. Although I never had a Barbie with proportions like hers in her recent forays into the realm of massive breasts.

I enjoy being labeled a Barbie both in Real Life and Second Life, here are my reasons why:

  • All the kids love her
  • People recall their time with her wistfully and with a smile
  • Her wide selection of clothes
  • She's a princess, a veterinarian, an astronaut, a diplomat, and so much more
  • She has pet cats, dogs, horses, pandas, lions, and zebras
  • She is about to turn fifty and doesn't look a day over twenty
  • She has a pilot's license and flys commercial jets
  • She is into BDSM
  • Every guy has looked up her skirt at one time or another
  • People spend lots of money on her

  • With all that, how could you *not* want to be Barbie?

    I'm glad Melissa is enjoying her time with massive breasts and has the guts to do it. Maybe I'll buy a set and we can form a Big Boob Solidarity movement. Perhaps I could sell advertising on the side of them like the Goodyear blimp.

    Thursday, March 15, 2007

    Saint Augustine Quote

    "O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet."
    - Saint Augustine

    Wednesday, March 14, 2007

    Only In Second Life

    Here's an amusing picture and commentary on flickr. Its a bot pretending to be a human chatting with a human pretending to be a bot.

    Tuesday, March 13, 2007

    I Love Sailors

    I was reading a post about The Alliance Navy on Second Life Insider and I remembered an amusing, at least to me, anecdote.

    A friend of mine and I were wandering around SL looking at the sights. I came upon a nice, secluded hot tub high in the mountains. Looking up, I saw this immense "space platform" for want of a better word. Flying up and looking around, I saw that it had planes, runways, offices, and other boy toys. I didn't know about the "sit teleport" technique, otherwise I would have gone inside to get a better look. Against the rules? Rules have rarely applied to me.

    Flying down, we came upon a military base - replete with guards, guns, gantries, and, I later found out, grenades. I went up to talk to the nice soldier on guard to ask her about the base and what it was for. She said it was The Alliance Navy.

    Fascinated, I asked more questions.

    "What do you do?"

    "Stand guard," was the answer this very literal minded soldier gave me.

    Sighing, I asked a little more explicitly, "What does your The Alliance Navy do?"

    "I'm a new recruit, I don't know much about that yet, they haven't trained me."

    I wanted to yell, "Did you read the brochure at least?" at her. I didn't, it wouldn't be polite.

    Okay, they gave her a gun, they must have told her something, so, I asked her, "Who are you guarding against? Who is the enemy?"

    I think she was surprised at that one, it took a long time for her to answer, "I'm supposed to keep people out."

    Evidently, the enemy is 'people'? For all our sakes I hope the gun isn't loaded.

    Thinking that there has to be a reason to do this, and the only way someone could get me to stand around like this would be for money, I asked, "How much do they pay you?"

    "They don't pay me. I do this for free," came the reply.

    Don't know what your group does. Don't know what you are guarding against. No idea who to keep out. Not making any money from it. Not exactly the poster child for attracting new recruits. At least she knows the name of the group. And people think Goreans are weird, at least they know why they are serving. Oh, and the brochures are better.

    That thought intrigues me, perhaps I will write an article comparing the military to the Goreans. I've never met any Goreans, but I have read Wikipedia about them. Wikipedia can't be wrong, can it? "Master Sam wants *you*!"

    Lost in thought and IMing my friend about how unbelievable that conversation was, the soldier interrupted with, "Would you like an application to join?"

    "Sure, that'd be interesting."

    I still have it. Just in case I want to join and have my own personal rendition of the "Private Benjamin" movie.

    Remember what I said about rules not applying to me? Looking around, I see a few people inside the base that have higher ranking tags than private, so I tell the soldier I'm going to go talk to them. And I walk into the base. Unchallenged. You get what you pay for. I get my friend in my saying, "don't worry, he's alright, he's with me." The I.Q. portion of the application form must be optional.

    The same scenario plays out with the sergeant and lieutenant inside the base that I run into. They really don't know who they are fighting against, but they are certain they get to fly "cool planes". Well, after they've been promoted and trained more, but eventually they will be able to fly the cool planes. The poor lieutenant had been in the Alliance Navy for over a month and still hadn't played with the "cool planes" yet.

    They obviously couldn't give me a ride in the "cool planes", so I asked who could. The Colonel could. Take me to your leader. A long discussion ensues in which I use my, not inconsiderable, charms to attempt to gain access to the Colonel. The final determination was that they weren't going to give me access to the inner base to see the Colonel and neither of them had the authority to go and ask the Colonel if I could see him, leaving the inner gate unguarded.

    Did I mention that one of them was a furry? How did that make it past the "don't ask, don't tell" part of the induction. She was lesbian as well, as the names of all her *other* groups besides the Alliance Navy attested to. At least they are an equal opportunity military. I wonder if the giant cartoon penis avatar would be admitted.

    I also forgot to mention both of them had initiated IM conversations with me to arrange assignations. Even "tit for tat", where "tat" was access to the inner base and "tit" was, well "tit" didn't get me access.

    "How much are they paying you?" was must natural question.

    "Nothing," but they were much more firm in their resolve to keep me out, unlike the private at the front gate.

    They were giving up sex now for the possibility of flying a "cool plane" in the future. All I can say is they must be *really* cool planes.

    "Do the guns work?" I asked.

    "Yes, want me to shoot something," came the answer from one of nature's born soldiers.

    "Oh, and we get grenades too," interjected the other one, not wanting to be out-done in the "try to impress the sexy girl with all my cool gadgets" competition.

    No planes yet, but they do get ordinance.

    "Sure, show me."

    Whereupon they shoot and lob grenades at my friend.

    Later he asked, "Why didn't they shoot you?"

    "Did either of them IM you for sex?" I replied.

    P.S. I believe SL Insider is right about their recruiting video, portions of it do look like a dance party.

    Virtual calisthenics to get your prims in shape...

    How To Classify 'SL Escorts' Link

    I was editing my list of links in the right hand side and I was down to trying to classify SL Escorts. It is not a news site, it could be informational, its not a single person's site, and it has nothing to do with scripting, building, or textures.

    But it is a comparison shoppers guide or possibly an escort store.

    Into Shopping it goes...

    Saturday, March 10, 2007

    The Adventure Continues

    Second Life can be the most sublime of places at times. One of the neighbors of my first land is a girl who is in a wheelchair in Real Life and loves that in Second Life she can fly and walk. I have friends in Second Life that are disabled, suffer from MS, are deaf, or are shut-ins for various reasons. All of them can live a rich life in Second Life, abandoning their limits or problems when they log in. This is one of the things I love most about Second Life.

    Then there are some who are very self-centered for various reasons and cause turmoil in the lives of those they purport to care about. They bring jealousy, selfishness, rumor-mongering, and worse into Second Life. While professing to love or care for others, they instead allow their own petty worries to mar the lives of those they most wish to be near. Upset and melodrama occur all around them. Like in Real Life, these are the people who spoil the fun for the rest of us. I pity them, they often lead sad lives consumed by their problems. In a perfect world I could help all of them, as it is, I can only help some of them, because helping them exhausts me.

    Through all of this runs the relationships that we build in Second Life, the friends and the sometimes more than friends. The infatuations, the moments of lust, the camaraderie, and the sharing of common burdens and experiences enrich us with their variety. I am surprised at how attached I am to some of my friends when I consider I've never met them in Real Life, only chatted with them, and only shared part of a virtual world with them.

    This past week has been filled with highs and lows, combining all of these experiences into an emotionally uplifting and draining week, not fully cathartic, but close. I learned that someone I know suffers from severe head trauma with blinding headaches and basically "lives" in Second Life because of this Real Life condition. The actions of a few drama-laden individuals caused lots of commotion in the group of my closest friends in Second Life, my friends at Paradise Lost, hopefully everything will return to normal there eventually. Finally, a growing infatuation/friendship of mine changed dramatically last night. She changed, wanting more from Second Life via her craft, and isn't satisfied with the relationship that I thought was blossoming.

    I wear my heart on my sleeve, I can't help it. I enjoy the rush and the excitement of love and the learning about someone on a deep level. That also sets me up for a lot of pain. Each time the relationship ends, I'm crushed. What surprised me most about this one, is that its in a virtual world. I truly looked forward to spending time with her, flirting, talking, etc. it felt electric. Now, she's moving on and I'm faced with the loss and the emptiness that always follows. I didn't think my feelings were so intense about someone I met in a virtual world a month ago, but when she told me, it was like the floor fell out from beneath my feet and the world was no longer stable. No one was more surprised than I was about my reaction.

    Now, I'm usually pretty bad about break-ups, I don't take rejection well, and my usual responses include anger, the cold-shoulder, pathetic attempts to convince them to continue the relationship, and worse. Contrary to historical record, I'm trying to change that behavior of mine. I would truly like to continue to remain friends with her, I value her insight, her humor, and her experience; I just hope the awkwardness of the change in the relationship doesn't prevent that. Having seen what self-centered behavior causes in the prior days of the week, my usual responses of causing drama to deal with the pain seem trite and highly unappealing. I've abhorred drama for years now, but have been unable to fully wipe it from my palette of reactions.

    It would be easy to sulk, to take out my pain on those around me, to be angry at her, to beg her, or to do any number of stupid things. I plan to remove those options from the ones I will do, but that leads to a huge uncertainty in what to do next. The obvious actions to further my self-centered concern are removed and a new vista rises before me. Unfortunately, I don't know what to do next and my fear of losing what remains of our friendship is paralyzing me. I don't know what the healthy actions are, what is too much or too little.

    So, if I seem a little unlike my normal self for a while, its because I'm growing and changing. Internally, I know that all good things must come to an end eventually and that a virtual world seems to have even more potential for rapid and unforseen change. On the bright side, all bad things must come to and end as well. If Paradise Lost recovers and returns to the way it was or better is unknown. If my friendship continues or gets better is unknown.

    What is certain is more pain and more joy will happen, often in unforseen ways. The stable will crumble and the unstable will turn out to be made of firmament.

    No matter what happens, no matter how much I dislike change sometimes, the adventure will continue and I look forward to what will happen.

    If I keep telling myself that, someday I might believe it.

    Tuesday, March 6, 2007

    I Got First Post!

    Oh wait, I created this, I automatically get first post.

    Welcome to "All Things Tiessa", a blog by me and about me, Tiessa, but then, everything revolves around me anyway.

    I'm Tiessa Montgolfier, an avatar on Second Life. In between hanging out, I script, build, and shop. I escort at Paradise Lost.

    Instant message me if you want to talk, introduce yourself, or get together.

    Things I Want To Buy II

    I'm always on the lookout for a new skin, and looking at the Celestial Studios blog, I see the Drama Queen line which looks to have potential. Good name, too.

    Drama Queen - Bright and slick multitonal eyemakeup paired with glossy lips. This is a "liquid eyeshadow" look that works great with the bright colors ever present in the new Last Call clothing collection.

    Fabulous eye-makeup and glossy lips, excellent. I wish I could get my lipstick to look like that in RL.

    One day, shortly after I joined SL, I was walking out of the drug store, when I spied a woman with great make-up, it looked like she'd just walked out of the salon. I walked over to her, opened my mouth to ask her where she bought her skin, and then I realized what I was about to say. Instead, I asked her where she got her makeup done. Serious blond moment averted at the last second.

    Update 03/10/2007: I tried out the skins but was non-plussed. They certainly were nice in general, but the eye makeup wasn't as good as I hoped and the choice of colors was limited, if the skins combined the eye shadow from the "Bright Eyes" and the lips from the "Bright Lips" series of the Vogue line, that would be good. Also, I don't like pubic hair, even in small patches.

    Editing My Blogger Profile

    I'm vain and have a weird sense of humor, so I am filling out my Blogger profile...

    Share My Profile Yes. Check.
    Show My Email Address Hmm, maybe later, I'm not in the mood for spam yet. Check.
    Name Tiessa Montgolfier. Check.
    Photo Grab link from Paradise Lost forums. Check.
    Audio Hmm, I don't have any audio of me online yet. Mental Note to practice purring and sounding sultry. Check.
    Gender Female. I created a male alt for testing scripts, but still can't master burping, farting, and scratching myself. Besides, very lousy clothing selection. Check.
    Birthday Probably 10/16/2006 - too lazy to look. Darn error, "must be at least 13 years old", take out the year. Works. That's quality security you have there. Check.
    Homepage URL Here, although if you keep asking me inane questions, maybe not. Check.
    Wishlist URL Find the SL Boutique wish list. Mental Note. Check.
    City/Town My home sim? Hummingbird. Check.
    Region/State Second Life. Check.
    Country SL isn't a country yet. Not Specified. Check.

    Then I hit the fun question...

    Industry Hmmm...

    Sex? Not in list, big surprise there.
    Entertainment? Not in list, guess they don't want any stars to blog.

    Okay, what's actually in the list... hmmm...

    Accounting Well, it does involve keeping track of money, but no.
    Advertising (Insert something pithy about advertising execs being whores...), nope.
    Agriculture Plowing? My furrow gets plowed. Hoeing? Hehe. Not into bestiality... although there was that one nice furry... oh, and that other one... but, no.
    Architecture Lots of jokes around buttresses, arching, plumbing the depths, nope.
    Arts (See comment above about advertising and whores... substitute, pretentious poser artists), nope.
    Automotive Babe calendars and "Paradise By The Dashboard Lights", nope.
    Banking I don't like withdrawals, no.
    Biotech SL definitely lacks the squishy sciences, nope.
    Business Services Definite possibility, conventions are always good for business, maybe.
    Chemicals Not into drugs, nope.
    Communications or Media Definitely lots of cybering going on, no.
    Construction More plumbing jokes, hammering, being nailed, etc, no.
    Consulting I charge hourly. I'll do anything for money, possible winner here.
    Education Teaching newbies how to use their new Xcite! gear, no.
    Engineering Hmmm... slide rules, no joke there. Mechanical devices, boring. This category is as boring to make jokes about it as it really is, definitely no.
    Environment Does working naked count? Wearing green? Didn't think so, no.
    Fashion I wear a lot of fashion, okay, I take off a lot of fashion if you will, no.
    Government Politicians are the real professional whores, I'm bush league. Hehe, no.
    Human Resources I do get hired a lot, but no.
    Internet I've never been Googled yet, but I've heard its pleasurable... nope.
    Investment Banking Do they get that many investment banker bloggers that they need a separate one from banking? nope.
    Law Yay its legal! no.
    Law Enforcement or Security Neener, its legal. no.
    Manufacturing No tangible product from my work, nope.
    Maritime I love sailors, nope.
    Marketing (See advertising above...) no.
    Military I love soldiers, nope.
    Museums or Libraries Been there, done that, got the dinosaur bone imprint on my butt to prove it, no.
    Non-Profit You mean as in free? definitely not.
    Publishing No picture books... yet. no.
    Real Estate I see a lot of real estate, well not really I see a lot of ceilings. no.
    Religion I say "oh my god" a lot. I worship on my knees. I saw a naughty nun costume in a store I could buy. I consume manna, oh wait, that's not manna... nope.
    Science There's not a lot of higher thinking going on, although there is lots of experimenting happening, no.
    Sports or Recreation I get a good work-out, I'm in shape... nope.
    Student Nope, I'm definitely teaching... (see Education), no.
    Technology You mean as in Xcite? Mechanical devices? nope.
    Telecommunications Again, is this very different from Communications above? no.
    Tourism Taking a tour of the hills and valleys? Hospitality? maybe.
    Transportation Well, I plan to move you, and I plan to be moved from the couch, to the table, to the bed, to various and sundry devices, to underwater, to space, to heights of ecstasy, yadda, yadda, yadda. maybe.

    Occupation Escort. Not hooker, I do more than just sex.
    Extended Info You have got to be kidding. I don't have the attention span for this.

    In the end, I chose Tourism because its the closest to hospitality I could find. Consulting seemed to be very predatory, which I'm not. My job is to make certain you are pleased and feel welcome, my ultimate goals. Oh, and it involves a lot of beds...

    Things I Want To Buy

    How unlike me that my second post involves clothes and spending money. I was reading the Aspire Magazine Blog and discovered a new "must visit" shop, The House Of Nyla.

    In particular, I want the peacock feathered one to the right.

    It appears The House Of Nyla also has the fashions in RL! I can't wait to buy her clothes in RL.

    The dance moves shown remind me of the "Purple Whirlpool" one from Sine Wave. If you haven't seen the dances from them, you are missing out; they are the first decent set of dances I've seen. If anyone knows of a good dance animation seller in SL, please comment on it - not that anyone reads this blog yet. I loathe the built-in ones, the free ones everyone has are lousy, and most of the others I've seen I would never do in RL because they are dorky.




    In RL, I go out dancing frequently. I wish my avatar could dance as well as I do.