Thursday, June 7, 2007

Tiessa's Campaign For Governor

Tiessa, dressed smartly and primly in a severe business suit, steps up to the podium. She smiles sweetly to everyone in attendance and launches into her speech without formality or preamble.

"Friends, Lindens, avatars, lend me your IMs;
I come to skewer Phil, not to praise him.
The bugs that SL inflicts affect us all;
The fixes are oft broken in the updates;
So let it be with Phil. The noble media
Hath told you Phil was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Phil answer'd it."

"SL was my friend, faithful and shopping friendly:
But Phil was ambitious;
Having brought lag and bugs to us all.
He hath captivated many with Second Life
Whose wallets did the business' coffers fill:
Did this in Phil seem ambitious?
When that the avatars have cried, Phil hath wept:
Second Life will scale, just one more update will fix it!"

"You all did see that in the Town Hall
We presented him a grievous list,
Which Lindens dodged and spun the news?
Was this ambition bringing all to ruin?"

"I speak not to disprove what the Lindens spoke,
But here I am to speak what I know.
You all did love SL once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to throw out Phil?
O judgment! thou are fled to bad coding practices,
And programmers have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My password is mangled in the database with Phil's,
And I cannot log in until it is reset for me."

"When I do log in, I pledge to you;
Fair avatars and furries all:
My governorship will be beneficent,
The lag and bugs will disappear,
Lindens once again shall fill all hands,
And snoops and puritans shall not peer in
On anything consenting adults will do.
But not while Phil rules the grid."

Tiessa again smiles sweetly to all assembled and leaves the podium, turning at the last moment to whisper, "My apologies to The Bard."

If you are wondering what all this is about, read Vint's or Veyron's blog entries. This was inspired by reading Zoe's speech :)

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