Wednesday, December 26, 2007

What Age Are You? No, Really?

This has to take the cake. After Linden Lab said it was going to age and identify verify people, the catterwaling began. From end to end of the Second Life blogo-sphere, many posts were written and much vitriol spewed. None the less, Linden Lab persisted in it's desire to make identify verification part of Second Life.

So, what happens when someone is accused of being under-aged? "Oh, look at that, they used the verification system chosen by Linden Lab." You'd think that would be the end of it. Well, not so fast.

From over on Grid Grind (via Massively), they are reporting one of their alts was suspended and they were told to fax a copy of a picture ID for verification!

With not a second look at their own verification system, Linden Lab is demanding picture proof of your identity in cases where there has been a complaint against you. Their own carefully selected system doesn't stand up to meet their own burden of proof.

A comment on Massively answers the charge that it's supposedly only a beta program:

Bee Mizser said...

So they are not trusting a system in BETA....

God you are getting worse than the Herald.

Age Verification is undergoing testing, it has not gone fully live, so quite rightly they are not depending on it right now.

2 hearts vote downvote upReport
Tateru Nino9

Dec 24th 2007 @ 5:54AM
Tateru Nino said...

As far as we know, and from everything we've heard, the 'beta' aspect is to deal with people *not* being able to verify. Once people *are* verified, as far as we know, they'll stay that way at the end of beta - therefore, if you trust the data then, you trust it now, no?


Sorry about that, I just had to scream at the world about something so blindingly stupid.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

I'm An AlienHearts Groupie

It's been ages since I heard AlienHearts play live and they were back for a big party this weekend. In case you've never heard of them, they are three very good DJs from France who play electrance music and make incredibly funny comments in-between their songs.

You can go to their website,, to download their music or get a small promo-sample of it by clicking the play button in the embedded player below.

To get a feel for their sense of humor, let me direct you to one of their videos on YouTube, it's called NooB and it's the tale of a noobie to Second Life.

Just to confirm my groupie status, I would add any of the three to my Naughty Nine, I dance on the stage when they play, I flirt shamelessly with them, and I have been known to throw various pieces of clothing onto their DJ booths. If anyone who reads this and runs a club or event that wants good music from professional DJs, I couldn't recommend anyone better. They packed a four sim party today.

If you hire them, you can be certain I will attend. Isn't that a good enough reason alone?

Friday, December 21, 2007

The Naughty Nine

Sigh, another meme, this one via Veyron. And a big hrmph to Veyron for only wanting to have sex with me for my mind.

Name the avatar that you would most like to have sl sex with for…..

1. Their av.

Veyron Supercharge - yes, I only like you for your body :P

2. Their mind.

Nicole Rotunno - although soul and many other attributes could also apply here :)

3. Their poetic/mystical/creative spirit.

Malachite Seattle - She's an incredible builder who kept Helena interested, I can only imagine what she must be like.

Wolfgang Pfohl - I wish he'd log in again, it's been too long. His boyish earnestness, his ego, his RL creativity, and many other reasons.

Dalien Talbot - You should hear him sing ;)

4. Their social success/success in sl.

Zoe Connelly - I've heard rumors ;)

5. Their libido, that is the thing they seem to want to do from how they talk and act.

Helena Kirkorian - How can anyone resist her? I think they invented the word effervescent just for her.

6. Want to go against type for you. That is, if they are normally a top, you would want them to be your bottom, if they are straight and your same sl gender…

Dakota Enfield - She's attached to Brianicus and I haven't talked to her in ages, but her wit and deep personality always attracted me.

Vint Falken - I'd really like to just curl up and play neko-kitty games with her ;)

October Hush - With the recent revelations, I'm thinking she might be hiding more things.

7. You would go against type for.

Trinity Clift - I've been going against type since day one already and I'm not about to stop?

8. You would most want to do a nothing-but-sex week with, who you are not currently having sl sex with.

I'm having sex with everyone right now, who am I missing? :)

9. Threesome, which two. They don’t have to be from the above list, but can be.

Veyron and Nicole. And thanks to Vint's photo-shoot, I bet it's going to happen :)

The tenth question:

“The forbidden,” the one that, you’d like to publicly confess to, but the consequences would be toooooo awful. Examples would be your best friend’s partner, a professional contact, someone you know rl who is here… Someone who you want, but have never been able to confess it too. Don’t post… Just answer with whether they are online right at the moment that you post your answer.

Not online :(

Next tags... October Hush, Dalien Talbot, Melissa Yeuxdeux, and Alexander Burgess.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Visitors To My Palace

When looking for photos of me on the Internet, I found some great photos taken by people I don't know of my palace. They did a good job of capturing some of the insides of it. My palace looks very Arabian Nights from the outside and a French palace in certain parts of the inside.

Here's someone named, Tsai Jie looking out of one of the upper rooms towards one of the minarets.

Here she is in my library in one of the comfy couches near the big fireplace.

Finally, here she is snuggling with someone in one of the big flowers in my garden.

I'm happy someone can be enjoying my palace when I'm not there. I'm also very happy to be able to say, "my palace." :)

Latex Bimbo Neko

It seems our aspiring latex bimbo neko took a photo a few months ago of me, in one of my neko outfits and made some appreciative comments about it. I think she's been thinking about this for a while.

Personally, I like the butterfly, its wings beat in a nice animation. This outfit has an interesting story tied to because I used it as a basis for my Halloween costume in Real Life. The humorous (and scandalous) results of that will be told in the next installment of the Mistress Stangelove series.

Up With This I Will Not Put

I was looking to collect some of the images I've seen people post about me in the past and put references to them on here. It turns out Flickr search is horrible and things tagged with my name don't even show up in the search results for 'tiessa'. I decided to use Google's image search to find more images of me.

The first result in Google's image search for me is *the* photo by Vint!

Some People Are Crabby Spoil Sports

In researching if my blog is still #1 on the "make me a bimbo" search at Google, I looked at some of the other links and this one stuck out as being very amusing, but not in the way the author intended.

First off, look at the pictures of the people who write for that newspaper's blog, can you picture a less humorless bunch of people? I grew up in the Midwest, can you guess why I don't live there anymore?

Second, comments like, "These girls will never be happy until they decide to grow up," show the true nature of the commenter more than the nature of the target of their ire. That really should be re-phrased as, "I will never be happy until they decide to grow up." What a curmudgeon view of the universe this person espouses. I think it's just sour grapes that the author of that comment wishes they would have had a bit more of an "ill-spent youth" and enjoyed themselves.

Finally, the comments quickly degenerate into a bunch of "You young people are all ungrateful and lazy." But, chalk one up for the bimbos of the world with the following comment exchange:

Regardless, the actions of a few idiots shouldn't reflect on my entire generation.
Posted by: young air-head spoiled bimbo | June 06, 2007 at 08:41 AM

Sorry bimbo, but it's not just "the actions of a few idiots". A major portion of your generation act like they're a few bricks shy of a load. That said, your generation isn't much different than any other recent generation. You just need a little seasoning/maturity/experience. I'm confident yours will be a productive generation given some time (and age).
Posted by: XXX | June 06, 2007 at 09:15 AM

Let me say again, self righteous baby boomers make me laugh. I see a few brick short of a full load when I see my parents old high school friends that were taken in by the drug culture of the seventies and are now brain dead.

Me? Just graduated on dean's list, and landed a very good job thanks to persistant interviewing and persuing.

But don't worry. The baby boomer generation will be very productive at some point.... I'm sure. Really. One of these days...
Posted by: Bimbo | June 07, 2007 at 10:11 AM

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Social Rank And Sweet Second Life Useless?

I think Crap Mariner is right, SocialRank and SweetSecondLife are full of crap. I submitted my own site to them, I also made certain blogs like Vint's and Veyron's were submitted to them, considering how much traffic they get. Not one of these four blogs show up on their social rank. Looking at SL TopSites, Technorati, and others, at least one of these sites should make it into SocialRank. But no. Electric Sheep, however, shows up twice. I think their site is broken.

A Bit Of Self-Indulgent Narcissism

Being bored with the concept of doing work today, having already posted to the blog, and having not looked at my site analytics in a while, I decided to look and see what people have been finding on my site.

The high ranking keywords for my site are, "All Things Tiessa", no surprise there, "SL Escorts", hmmm, I haven't done that in ages, "make me a bimbo", a perennial favorite on this blog, "second life big boobs", and, interestingly enough, a phrase that is second only to "All Things Tiessa", "Aristotle, he made a claim that later proved incorrect." Where else can you get bimbos, big boobs, and discussions of the veracity of Aristotle in one cute package? Oh, and I have the most darling dimples as well :)

The current top links are I Is A Smart Bimbo, "Long Absences And Unexpected Exposures", and "Fear Of Barbie's Big Boobs".

Hmmm, I sense a theme :)

Just as a sort of weird recursive irony, the "Make Me A Bimbo" reference on my site, which is one of my hit generators, is another post commenting on how that phrase is one of my hit generators. No actual content was produced in the making of this hit driver.

Re-reading that post of mine, I definitely have to do a series of 'A Bimbo's Guide to...' posts with 'A Bimbo's Guide To Being A Bimbo,' being one of the first. I bet the Mean Girls would have a field day with me if I ever made it onto their radar.

What Do I Have To Do To Get A Little Publicity?

I flirt and I flirt, he takes pictures, but then he goes and forgets to mention the best part of the entire party, me! And I'm even the only person you can make out in the picture he posts of the party. I should be glad he didn't feature an embarrassing photo of me in his tutorial on post-processing of cleavage like some people I could mention...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

And Now For Something Completely Different...

A small break from everything you wanted to know about sex and the single Second Life girl...

You either love British humor, or you don't. Be forewarned, if you don't like British humor, don't read this post, go here instead, you'll be much happier.

From the daily mash, a site that makes The Onion look like it was written by boring 4-year olds, comes the following artitle:


A TOTALLY humongous rat has been discovered in a really remote part of New Guinea by some freaked-out zoologists.

A team of scientists from Conservation International spotted the absolutely mental thing while up to their knees in all kinds of crap in the Foja mountains.

Expedition leader Professor Wayne Hayes said: "I was filling my water bottle when I saw this huge fucking thing and I shouted to my mate Dave, I said, 'Dave, look at the size of that fucker!' and Dave was like, 'Jesus Christ, it's a fucking monster!


Professor Hayes added: "Ben was like, 'that's a rat, it's totally a rat' and I was going, 'naah, it's some kind of freaky beaver or a weird-looking, fucked-up cat.'"

Dr David Hobbs added: "I was like, 'that's a mutant otter or something, it's bigger than my dog, for Christ's sake' and Wayne was saying we should catch it, and I was like, 'you fucking catch it'.

"So anyway, we tell Stevie that it's his turn to catch something and he's like totally pissed off, but he tears after it anyway, shouting, 'come here you dirty big bastard, I want to take your picture'."

Dr Steven McKay added: "We also trapped this manky little thing with huge eyes which they reckon is maybe a possum or a really big gerbil.

I know, this isn't the most erudite humor around, but it tickles my funny bone for a couple of reasons. I used to watch nature shows on PBS when I was growing up and the thought of Sir David Attenborough creeping through the jungles in the Foja mountains, parting the leaves of some big plant, turning to the camera, and saying in hushed tones, "Ahh, the elusive Big Fucking Rat, a rare sight indeed." That image makes me giggle uncontrollably, the people around me on the bus must think I'm insane.

I also vaguely remember a few "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" episodes from when I was really little and I remember the host, Marlin Perkins, would be talking all about how deadly some creature was and then he'd turn to Jim Fowler and say something like, "Even though the much feared man-eating Bengal tiger can rend a man limb from limb in seconds, Jim here is going to go up to it, pull on its tail so you can hear it roar, a roar that sends chills to the hearts of man. Then, he will put his head in its mouth so you can see the teeth that can crush a man's skull in an instant." Poor Jim would then dutifully go and perform whatever insane stunt Marlin would assign him. I often wondered why Marlin hated Jim so much.

If he survived, I can just hear someone saying to him, "Lucky."

Well, to reward everyone who read through this entire post of my prattling, I will give the first one who answers the following question correctly with a long kiss and a quick fondle in the back of a dark theatre.

From my one of my favorite pieces by the same authors who brought you the title of this post, who would turn and say "Lucky" to Jim if he survived the insane instructions Marlin gave him? It's a bit obscure, but it never fails to make me laugh because of the absurdity of the situation. If no one gets it, I'll eventually tell you, but then, no cookie for you.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

This Is Either Bad Or Good

Cory Lindon is leaving Linden Lab, in his own words, it appears to be over creative differences. Some people think this is a bad thing, that he is the guy that "made it work". I love the following quote from Cory:

Creating a programming language that now had 2.5 billion lines of code written in it – note to self, next time spend more than one night designing language.

That brings back memories of bad architectural decisions in my life as well.

Now, I'm going to preface all of the following, with, I haven't met Cory, have any inside information about this in anyway, or have any personal axes to grind.

I think this could be a very good thing. Send any flames my way you want, but I don't believe anyone's perfect.

Cory built a platform that I've dedicated lot's of time to and certainly a fair amount of money. Anything I spend that much time with, I have an opinion on. He made this crazy concept a working system. It has many flaws that are keeping it from being truly great and continuing the breakneck growth it showed earlier.

There are crashes, bugs, outages, inventory loss,and numerous other things that mar the Second Life experience. Cory could be a very good software engineer, very creative, very innovative, but he may not make a good CTO. The skills that are good at starting a project and getting it to the "first stage" are not the skills that get you to the "next stage." They are not mutually exclusive, but they are not the same.

Unlike others, I like that Cory made the client open source. I like that he supported libsecondlife. I drank the Kool-Aid a long time ago about open source and how fundamentally right it is.

All of that does not make him good at managing the architecture of a system, to stabilize it, to hunker down and do the boring things that need to be done on the platform. Some people are comparing him to Wozniak and drawing similarities to what happened at Apple. I think Wozniak leaving was ultimately good for Apple.

I read an excerpt from Michael Dell's book in which he talked about having to ask for the resignations of many of his close friends that helped him build Dell once the company grew really big. His comments went something like, "It was incredibly hard to do, they were good $100 million dollar managers, but they weren't $1 billion dollar managers." The skill set for running organizations and making them work at different sizes and different scales changes. Some can continue to reinvent themselves and change, others cannot or will not.

In the end Linden Lab is a business and businesses that grow and are pushing to grow big will go through certain stages. We've hit the "boring corporate retrenchment" stage. I just hope that Cory isn't replaced by someone from the "big corporate" stage, who doesn't know how to shepherd a growing company through the middle phases.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

I Might As Well Tell You Eight Random Facts

I guess after receiving numerous tags (You know who you are), I will succumb to peer pressure...

* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
* People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1) Unlike my normal charming and ebullient self, right now, I can't think of anything witty to say.
2-8) See #1, only with different polysyllabic words substituted to increase my blog's reading level.

If you really want random facts about me, re-read the Mistress Strangelove series.

Besides, all of the good facts were taken. Like dandellion, I will set my avatar down in a comfortable chair somewhere in the middle of a shopping sim and move my camera about to do all of my shopping, although I don't "spiderman" around like she does.

Like Veyron, I have an incredibly organized inventory - I have all of my "looks" in separate folders, labeled as to what they are compatible with. Copies of my shape, skin, eyes, hair, jewelry, etc. all in the same folder (with sub-folders :), so a single menu click will change my entire look. The only disorganized folder is my animations, and that's because I just bought some and have to classify them. Unlike Veyron, I really don't want a tagging system, I'd never remember all of the tags and then I would spend a *huge* amount of time "standardizing" my tags, I'd like either symlinks or just have everything be copy/no transfer.

Finally, like Raul, I was in the Navy and have tattoos all over my body, but unlike him I have my driver's license and am a 400 pound truck driver who wears red plaid, has a beard to my belly, and who answers to the call sign, "Bubba Joe Jim Bob Billy".


Like usual, I'm in an odd mood, which would just make it a normal mood, well for me, for everyone else, it'd be odd.

Like Vint, I will cease the "chain letter" and not tag anyone - I'd have to spend hours googling for random SL blogs to find someone who hasn't been tagged already.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Mission Specialist Bambi And Her Amazing Pneumatic Space Sex Toys

Veyron has a link to a hysterical article about sex in space on her blog. A copy of her excerpt:

US and Russian
astronauts have had sex in space for separate research programmes on
how human beings might survive years in orbit, according to a book
published yesterday.

Pierre Kohler, a respected French scientific writer, says in The
Final Mission: Mir, The Human Adventure that the subject is taboo both
at Nasa [sic] and at mission control in Moscow, but that cosmic couplings
have taken place.

“The issue of sex in space is a serious one,” he says. “The
experiments carried out so far relate to missions planned for married
couples on the future International Space Station, the successor to
Mir. Scientists need to know how far sexual relations are possible
without gravity.”

He cites a confidential Nasa [sic] report on a space shuttle mission in
1996. A project codenamed STS-XX was to explore sexual positions
possible in a weightless atmosphere.

Twenty positions were tested by computer simulation to obtain the
best 10, he says. “Two guinea pigs then tested them in real
zero-gravity conditions. The results were videotaped but are considered
so sensitive that even Nasa [sic] was only given a censored version.”

Only four positions were found possible without “mechanical
assistance”. The other six needed a special elastic belt and inflatable
tunnel, like an open-ended sleeping bag.

Mr Kohler says: “One of the principal findings was that the classic
so-called missionary position, which is so easy on earth when gravity
pushes one downwards, is simply not possible.”

This is priceless. I wonder how they convinced the guinea pigs to try those 10 positions :) I can see "serious scientists in lab coats" rigging up miniature sex harnesses to the guinea pigs and then saying in a stern voice, "now this time, no playing around, I want you to test the missionary position, not Kama Sutra position #712. That position is not one of the 'official' ones we are testing on this flight. Get serious you two, you are astronauts, not rodents." Followed by little rodent giggles as they go off to have wild, kinky rodent sex in harnesses while inside an inflatable tunnel.

My mind boggles at all of the questions this article raises. For example, how do I get a government paid job to write software to simulate sexual positions in space? That must be one of the wackier job descriptions, "Must have experience in physical simulation using 3D software and an intense interest in sex." How did they get that by HR?

What other "mechanical assistance" devices did they simulate? And how did they think of an inflatable tunnel as one of them? "Well, Sir, last night I was up late doing some, ah, 'research' on the Internet with regards to, ah, 'possible mechanical devices for aiding in engineering human to human coupling and interlocking in zero gravity', and I, ah, 'chanced' upon a website dedicated to, ah, 'human restraint in procreative and non-motile scenarios'. Then purely out of, ah, 'scientific curiosity', I downloaded all of the pictures on it, so I could do some, ah, 'in-depth analysis', and I saw a few things that might be the key to, ah, 'facilitating...', ah, um... Sir, permission to speak without euphemism?" "Just one question first Johnson. How much of this 'research' was done with your pants down around your ankles?" Looking abashed, Johnson answers, "all of it Sir."

Don't even get me started on how their "principal finding" was about the missionary position. I would love to read the research grant proposal for that one.

Also, it gives new meaning to the words, "Mission Specialist" Not to be confused with the words, "Missionary Specialist," which is evidently an untenable position.

I can imagine the pre-flight press interview... "I'm Smith from the Associated Press, and I have a question for Mission Specialist, ah, 'Bambi' is it? The press hand-out regarding your background is very short and very vague, your title is 'Research Assistant' and your background states that you have, ah, '... significant professional experience of vital importance to the mission.' But it never states what that experience is, can you provide more details?" Bambi, smacking her gum and twirling a finger in her bleached platinum blond hair, replies, "uh, what the heck did all that mean?" "What are you good at miss?" "Why didn't you just say that, handsome?" she smiles and bats her eyelashes at the suddenly uncomfortable reporter who has to sit down quickly and adjust his pants. "That's easy, I give great head, I'm double jointed, I don't get motion sick during sex, and I ride rockets every night," she giggles at her own joke. "Although, I am charging extra for the straps, inflatable tunnels, and the guinea pigs - that's kinky even by my standards. It has been great working with all of the guys down in the research department these past weeks, there were many long, sleepless nights spent rehearsing all of the astronauts I'm to do in space, oh wait, I was supposed to say, 'tasks that I'm to do in space,'" she says while using exaggerated "air quotes". "We plan to have a lot of fun on this mission, right Tiger," she ends winking at the, now blushing, Mission Commander.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I Do *Not* Act LikeThis... (Frequently)

Veyron has cast more aspersions on my character, making me out to be nothing more than a flirtatious tart. She sent me the following video and implied that this is essentially me and how I act.

Super Sexy Train Passenger - Free videos are just a click away
I can assure you all this is entirely unlike me. First, I don't ride trains, second, I'm blond, third, I would never wear an outfit like that because the top does not go well with that skirt. Finally, to really attract the eyes of the guys, don't wear black heels, wear white. Any stripper can tell you that.

See, entirely unlike me.

(Note: The use of polysyllabic words is in no way a reaction to the "bimbo" reading level of this blog.)

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Words Cannot Do It Justice

Earlier this year, during the summer, a bunch of people told me about a sim where the "Starry Night" painting of Van Gogh was brought to life in Second Life. Life many other pilgrims, I ventured there to marvel at how well it was done and the magnificent idea that it represented - the ability to travel within one of your favorite paintings.

Robbie Dingo built it and this morning I stumbled accross a machinima called 'Watch the World(s)" showing the build from beginning to end. I can't say which is more impressive, watching it being built or moving around within it. Making it even more poignant is the music, Don McLean's "Vincent", it makes me sniffle and tear up hearing the words as the painting unfolds. Some parts of the video have been edited to appear abstract.

It is probably the best machinima I've ever seen - I can't stop watching it.

For a very low-res version of it, here's the YouTube version:

For more details on how it was made, New World Notes has an article about it. Finally, for higher resolution versions, go to Robbie's blog - the download is well worth it.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Mega-Prim Sculptie Earth With Satellite Imagery

I *have* to see this the next time I'm in Second Life. This is incredible looking in the photos.

From the picture caption:

Sculptie Earth features a topographic Earth model with cloud layer that displays real time weather patterns streamed from satellite data. Stills are taken 3 hours apart and 2 days of data is visible in the animation.

The first photo shows how big it is relative to other things in Second Life.

The second shows it close enough to see the relief.

The pictures are from Zee Pixel's Flickr stream.

And thanks to the Huge Prim Blog for the pointer.

You Know You're Famous When....

You make it into a word search puzzle. Dinee has a word search puzzle with a bunch of SL bloggers in it. Thanks Dinee.

I also think it says something about me that I also notice “naughty” words like ‘tit’ or crass consumer words like ‘jewel’. Not that I’m a gold-digging nympho or anything.

Now, if I can only make it into her blogroll. Of course, that would mean having to post more frequently and with more exciting things.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I Is A Smart Bimbo

Following the example of other authors, like Melissa Yeuxdoux and Lillie Yifu, rating the reading level of their blogs, I ran mine through the same service and guess what reading level this blog is:

Lillie's smart, she's in elemenshur... elmnt... grade school and Melissa's real smart, she's got rockets and jello shots on hers :)

Friday, November 16, 2007

Late Night. Can't Sleep.

It's 2AM and you can't sleep, what do you do? You wander around the Internet and find out what people have been writing about you while you weren't looking :)

Narcissim, thy name is Tiessa.

You find out that you haven't posted in nearly two months. You internally vow to return to your origins and log into Second Life more frequently. You begin to write a self-referential, hopefully humorous blog post about the whole situation, only to find out that you are nearly incoherent from lack of sleep. *sigh*

Perhaps I'll call it a night and go back to counting male strippers as I try to fall asleep. You can count sheep, I want to dream about sex with male strippers when I finally fall asleep - I'll let you dream about sex with sheep. Or maybe I'll try and count Veyron's doing various naughty things. Either way, yum.

What the heck am I doing still writing when I can have visions of boy toys and models dancing in my head?

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Okay Vey, I'm An "Uber Cool Nerd God" (dess)

To satisfy Veyron's curiousity about my nerdiness, here it is... says I'm an Uber Cool Nerd God.  What are you?  Click here!

And I must protest a few thing about the test:

  • The question, "While not at work working, what do you spend most of your time on the computer doing?" does not have the answer that I wanted, which is "writing code". I do not consider that "work", especially since I don't program work stuff :)
  • The question, "How's your romantic life?" does not have the answer I wanted, which is "Have multiple boyfriends/girlfriends". I guess that would be a vanishingly small sample size for this test anyway - the writers never conceived of anyone being able to pull that off :)
  • The question, "Speaking of Aristotle, he made a claim that later proved incorrect, which was that..." is wrong on so many levels, it should at least be "Which of the following was one of the claims Aristotle made that was later proven wrong?" - he made so many wrong claims, the use of the word "a" is highly incorrect.
  • Besides if you are going to choose cool philosophy figures, at least go with Plato or Socrates.
  • As far as programming languages go, there are far nerdier languages and questions to ask. For example, "Do you consider Lisp to be the best language ever?" Should boost your nerd score through the roof :) BTW, my answer to that would be "depends on the problem" :P
  • The Jeopardy questions are just stupid - I don't watch the show anymore because its too easy which bores me ;)
  • Don't even get me started on the inaccuracies of the "The Hundred Years war lasted 106 years." question.
  • And the fact that I carry a periodic table in my purse "in case of an emergency" does not make me a nerd :) You wouldn't believe how many times that's come in handy.
  • To be properly nerdy the question about choosing, "Your Life", "My Space", etc. should have an option for "Second Life" or some other comment on choosing a cyber-life instead of a real life, heck even one of those MMO would be better than "My Space" - the kinds of geeks this test is targetting sneer at My Space or wouldn't know social networking if it bit them.
  • By choosing "Mac" I get "Mac" and "Unix" - I bet they scored me lower for choosing the Mac - I think the test creators are not nerdy enough.
  • There really should be a question that asks whether or not you think the test is flawed, it doesn't have nerdy enough questions, or that you think the test creators aren't nerdy enough - that should boost your nerd score.
  • And finally, the term should be Goddess - idiots, didn't they even take into account the "sex" portion of their own test? I call that a bug - where do I go to get my money back?
  • Tuesday, September 11, 2007

    Long Absences And Unexpected Exposure

    Well, Real Life is about to slow down and I can return to writing more of the Mistress Strangelove series for your edification.

    However, the reason I'm posting this is an unexpected exposure of me by Vint Falken on her blog. I went to the SL Bloggers meeting and she took a photo of me and is using it as an instruction device on retouching photos.

    I just wish she could have used a less titillating photo.

    Update (9/14/2007):
    I finally followed Vint's link to the Flckr page for the photo and read the comments there.

    My favorite one:
    "I can't get past "Montgolfier", hot air, balloons.. and her tits."

    And that's not even why I chose the name, although now I like it even more than before. Unexpected puns are the best.

    Friday, June 8, 2007

    The Hummingbird Address

    From the steps of her palace in Hummingbird sim, Tiessa walks up to the podium to give her, soon to be famous, Hummingbird Address. This speech comes at a time of great strife in Second Life and she wishes to communicate her feelings about the condition of Second Life and her candidacy for Governorship of Second Life.

    "Four score and sixteen months ago Phil brought forth on this net, the Linden Labs, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all avatars are created equal."

    "Now we are afflicted by a great system outage, testing whether Second Life, or any Life so programmed and so untested, can long remain up. We are met on a sim impacted by that outage. We have come to dedicate a portion of that sim, as a final resting place for those avatars who here were disconnected that Second Life might remain up. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this."

    "But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this sim. The brave avatars, connected and disconnected, who lived here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The Grid will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what bugs occurred here. It is for us the connected, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who were disconnected here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored avatars we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of connectivity -- that we here highly resolve that these avatars shall not have disconnected in vain -- that this Grid, under Tiessa, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the avatars, by the avatars, for the avatars, shall not perish from the Internet."

    Looking solemn and aggrieved, she bows her head in reverence for the departed of Second Life, turns, and walks back to her palace, turning at the last moment before entering to whisper, "Apologies to the President."

    Thursday, June 7, 2007

    Tiessa's Campaign For Governor

    Tiessa, dressed smartly and primly in a severe business suit, steps up to the podium. She smiles sweetly to everyone in attendance and launches into her speech without formality or preamble.

    "Friends, Lindens, avatars, lend me your IMs;
    I come to skewer Phil, not to praise him.
    The bugs that SL inflicts affect us all;
    The fixes are oft broken in the updates;
    So let it be with Phil. The noble media
    Hath told you Phil was ambitious:
    If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
    And grievously hath Phil answer'd it."

    "SL was my friend, faithful and shopping friendly:
    But Phil was ambitious;
    Having brought lag and bugs to us all.
    He hath captivated many with Second Life
    Whose wallets did the business' coffers fill:
    Did this in Phil seem ambitious?
    When that the avatars have cried, Phil hath wept:
    Second Life will scale, just one more update will fix it!"

    "You all did see that in the Town Hall
    We presented him a grievous list,
    Which Lindens dodged and spun the news?
    Was this ambition bringing all to ruin?"

    "I speak not to disprove what the Lindens spoke,
    But here I am to speak what I know.
    You all did love SL once, not without cause:
    What cause withholds you then, to throw out Phil?
    O judgment! thou are fled to bad coding practices,
    And programmers have lost their reason. Bear with me;
    My password is mangled in the database with Phil's,
    And I cannot log in until it is reset for me."

    "When I do log in, I pledge to you;
    Fair avatars and furries all:
    My governorship will be beneficent,
    The lag and bugs will disappear,
    Lindens once again shall fill all hands,
    And snoops and puritans shall not peer in
    On anything consenting adults will do.
    But not while Phil rules the grid."

    Tiessa again smiles sweetly to all assembled and leaves the podium, turning at the last moment to whisper, "My apologies to The Bard."

    If you are wondering what all this is about, read Vint's or Veyron's blog entries. This was inspired by reading Zoe's speech :)

    Tuesday, May 29, 2007

    Mistress Strangelove: Chapter 7 : One Woman's Porn Is Another Woman's Research

    Mistress Strangelove or : How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Kinks

    The (Mis)Adventures Of A Reluctant Mistress

    Chapter 1 : A Shopping Addict Is Born
    Chapter 2 : My Inner Bimbo
    Chapter 3 : If The Nuns From My Catholic Grade School Only Knew
    Chapter 4 : With Bells On
    Chapter 5 : Would You Dance With Me?
    Chapter 6 : Its Harder Than Walking And Chewing Gum
    Chapter 7 : One Woman's Porn Is Another Woman's Research
    Chapter 8 : 'With Bells On' In Real Life

    After my introductory weekend in Second Life, I was eager to return. I was astonished at how much I learned during my first weekend and wanted to learn and see more - I was addicted to it already. In a number of places I encountered the word Gor referring to some sort of group, I was curious as to what it was. My "performance" during my first cybersex frustrated me; I knew I wasn't that good. Not being good at something annoys me.

    Another key to my personality is that I am very self-competitive. I dislike doing things at less than my potential best. Sometimes this translates into competitiveness with others, and some of my friends may quibble with what I am about to say, but I am rarely, truly competitive with others. I will play at being competitive, joke about it, and do my best, but I don't really take it as seriously as to whether I thought I did my best. Losing to others in a fair (or not so fair) competition doesn't irk me too much at all. No, my only true competitor is my own expectations. Its far more devilish a rival than anyone else could be.

    Like many people, while I'm at work, I browse the web periodically; it's one of my stress relievers and I often find that a small break from a task allows me to come back to it and approach it in a new and better way. During one of these times, I remembered my curiosity as to what Gor was. As I write this, I recall I was wrong in my previous chapter, I hadn't learned about the word kajira or Gor's relationship to slavery from that man I met who had a slave, I had merely read it in a few places.

    Imagine my surprise when I turned to the Wikipedia article and finally read what Gor was. It was a fantasy world that glorified the enslavement of women. I read the whole article about Gor - it was a series of fantasy novels set in a world called Gor. One of its central features was women as slaves, it talked extensively about the proper behavior of slaves, it had names for slave positions, and it had a small, but devoted following of people who practiced its "tenants". I find that as absurd as the people who learn to speak Klingon.

    I was angry about slavery. I disliked the abasement of one person to another, the whole concept of domination and submission mystified me, and the fact people would willingly do all that astonished me. Realizing that in Second Life, it was all shared fantasy similar to cybersex made it easier to tolerate. However, I still thought it very unhealthy that someone would sublimate their own will and I thought it would just reinforce emotional instability and prevent people from taking responsibility for their own life and becoming better.

    Then, I reached the part of the Wikipedia article that talked about Gor in Real Life. Evidently, some people live the Gorean lifestyle, with slaves who do their bidding, practicing all the mandated positions, and subjugating themselves on a permanent basis to a master. The Gorean masters prey upon emotionally disturbed women and keep them as slaves by breaking their wills. Through links off that page and other articles, I read stories of women rescued from those situations and how mentally crippled they were by the experience. I had read about the Stockholm Syndrome and the proclivity of institutionalized people to be unable to function outside of that environment and knew how evil enslavement and captivity could truly be. Now, I was truly angry, fantasy is one thing, but taking advantage of people in Real Life was intolerable. I couldn't do anything about it in Real Life, but I didn't have to tolerate the Goreans in Second Life - their mimicking of the Gorean practices seemed to trivialize the Real Life problems.

    The final revelation about Gor that surprised me was that the concept of silks, those pretty, flowing clothes I liked in Second Life, originated as the clothing of the slaves. Darn, my favorite outfit was a set of silks. I realized I had been walking around in an outfit that broadcast, "I am a slave" and right now writing this, I realize that not only did the Gorean guy walk into Paradise Lost probably looking for an escort and saw me but that he also saw someone who he thought to be an escort who was also wearing silks.

    During that week, at other times during my web browsing activities, I looked for blogs and other sites dedicated to Second Life. I discovered a number of them, but what really grabbed my attention were and Now, I was even more dangerous, I could shop while at work. My wish lists instantly grew to gargantuan proportions and I spent far too much time and far too much money browsing those sites. In Second Life there were things to distract me from shopping, offline; the only change I could effect in Second Life was the purchase of things. Which I did while at work and then excitedly logged in that evening to try out.

    One thing I still immensely dislike about Second Life shopping is the inability to try things on before I buy them. In Real Life, part of the fun of shopping is trying on all sorts of clothing to see which ones you like the best, in Second Life you had to go on the pictures provided. I never liked shopping for clothing on the web before for similar reasons, but now, with Second Life's prices being so cheap; I could afford to buy things just to try them on.

    While at work, there was one thing I was not going to try to improve and that was my cybersex skills :) I hit upon the idea of looking for online sex stories to see what the characters said and how they said them. Swallowing my pride, I did something I had never done before, except by accident, I went looking for porn. Those spam messages describing all sorts of sexual activities, I quickly found out, were only the tip of the iceberg. Website after website of porn existed to cater to every conceivable type of proclivity; while I intellectually knew before that time that they existed, I had never experienced them except through a mislabeled or deceptive link on a webpage.

    It took me many tries to get over my embarrassment long enough to do, what I like to call, research. With the offer of being an escort hanging over my head and my own disappointment at my virginal performance, I was seeing what it took to be better. Eventually, via the suggestions of a few folks at Paradise Lost who must have thought I was obsessive, I also began to look at online porn movies.

    My god! The dialog was execrable in the ones that had dialog more sophisticated than, "Oh god! Oh. Give me that cock. Oh. *moan* *mumble* *slurp*." Is this what guys liked, I wondered? These women, in my opinion, were acting like trashy whores, had they no pride? No dignity? People didn't act like that in Real Life, did they?

    Slowly, realization dawned on me that *this* was the dirty talk people had referred to all along and my few attempts in the past, I now realized, had been pitiful to say the least. In Real Life, I've always enjoyed sex and I began to wonder if trying this out would improve things. My personal goal of doing my best at anything I try kicked in and I knew I had to try out these ideas in Real Life. However, I didn't want to make a fool of myself, thankfully, Second Life came to the rescue and I had a handy place to practice before my Real Life dirty talk debut.

    Not only was Second Life accelerating my learning and discovery of new things while I was connected to it and wandering around, it was also doing so while I was offline.

    Chapter 8 : 'With Bells On' In Real Life

    Saturday, May 26, 2007

    My Voluntarily Released, Linden Labs Verified, Real Life Information

    I was reading an article in Pixel Pulse Magazine about age and gender verification in SL and a comment in it raised a particularly trenchant point:

    Chew on this... what if it's a guy using his girlfriend's account? Not so sure now, are we? Even with this verification in place, it's STILL possible for you to run into this type of thing that you are so afraid of.

    Given a recent ruling from the courts that if a service provider attempts to restrict content on their site, they lose the protections against third party content that grew out of the "common carrier" exception, how does the age verification help Linden Labs protect against someone using another's account? Linden Lab cannot guarantee that a "child" will not use an already verified account or that the "child" will not use a flaw in the verification system to age verify themselves to an "acceptable" age. Given that "children" have nothing but time and given the nature of the Internet, I'm certain moments after the verification system goes into place, there will be lots of information available on how to circumvent the process. And since Linden Labs *attempted* to restrict access, will they now be liable for every instance in which it is circumvented?

    Another comment struck me as funny:
    Since when did LL become the arbiter of truth and trust?
    Why are they adding these useless features when people can simply ask?
    Do you need third party verification that my favorite flavor of ice cream is Chocolate?

    Following on from that comment, the concerns over leaked information, and a post elsewhere that I can't find about the choices for the verification process being too limited to actually reflect reality, I give you my "Voluntarily Released, Linden Labs Verified, Real Life Information":

    Age: Age of the universe less six days (Yes, I am really Lilith, the first woman. I am the very picture of insalubrious carnality and the incarnation of lust.)

    Gender: weiblich (That's feminine to you non-German speakers - gender is a *language* term and a *word* has a gender not the actual person, place, or thing, the correct word for what you puritanical types are trying to refer to but are too squeamish to *type* is 'SEX'; please get it right in the future. Which leads us inevitably to...)

    Sex: Lots (I had to submit numerous pictures of me in flagrante delicto. The pictures were purely for verification purposes, I was assured, and none of that information will be leaked on the Internet or available to satisfy the prurient interests of the sex-starved geeks responsible for writing the verification software.)

    Social Security Number: 123-45-6789 (Have fun ruining my credit rating, I'll never need to buy a house.)

    69 Oh God Plc
    Fuck, ME 77777
    (Now that you know my sex and all the other information about me, I'll leave a light on in the window every night for all you stalkers to get a good look at me undressing.)

    Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: I don't like any of the choices, but I must pick one, so, I'll stick with salad. (Considering the choices are: raw horseflesh, shrimp [with whole prawns], and a variety of other un-appealing flavors.)

    I suggest we all start to "voluntarily" release all our information, because, what harm could it do? Does this post need the "mature" flag do you think?

    Now, please pass the blue cheese dressing and let's eat. (No, I'm *not* referring to using the dressing on the salad ice cream, that would be gross, I have better uses for it :)

    Friday, May 18, 2007

    Submissive Jesus

    Have problems with your prayers not being answered? Watch the "Submissive Jesus" video for one solution.

    Which Barbie Are You?

    While you wait for the next installment of my memoirs, you can find out which Barbie you are.

    Mine is....

    Which Barbie Are You? (pics)

    Slut Barbie
    You're that naked barbie that you always see discarded on someone's bedroom floor........and you like it. (Atleast you aren't the beheaded barbie, whew!) Anyway, you have long since gave up on that Ken. You need that hot plastic injection and you need it now!
    Take The Quiz Now!Quizzes by

    Tuesday, May 15, 2007

    Mistress Strangelove: Chapter 6: Its Harder Than Walking And Chewing Gum

    Mistress Strangelove or : How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Kinks

    The (Mis)Adventures Of A Reluctant Mistress

    Chapter 1 : A Shopping Addict Is Born
    Chapter 2 : My Inner Bimbo
    Chapter 3 : If The Nuns From My Catholic Grade School Only Knew
    Chapter 4 : With Bells On
    Chapter 5 : Would You Dance With Me?
    Chapter 6 : Its Harder Than Walking And Chewing Gum
    Chapter 7 : One Woman's Porn Is Another Woman's Research
    Chapter 8 : 'With Bells On' In Real Life

    The third day dawned and I was excited to talk to my friend and tell her I was asked to be an escort at a club, especially since we had just talked about it the night before. I hadn't even had cybersex yet, how could I become an escort? Dancing made no sense to me either, why would anyone watch someone's avatar maneuver through the same set of repetitive motions over and over - let alone pay money for it?

    I spent most of the day wandering around Second Life doing a little shopping, but my major spending orgy had subsided and I was merely window shopping in most cases. Also, my credit card was threatening to kill me if I didn't slow down. As it was, buyer's remorse had set in a few times, but I kept getting compliments on my appearance, which helped to mollify the tiny, fiscally responsible Tiessa inside. Poor thing, it was always outnumbered and ineffectual, I sympathized with it, but not enough to listen to it and stop spending money.

    Each day in Second Life had resulted in numerous discoveries; little did I know that today would be no different in that regard. Second Life brought out more learning in a shorter period of time than I could have ever expected.

    Eventually, my friend logged in and I told her all that had happened, including the fateful offer of employment as a dancer and escort at Paradise Lost. We both rejected doing that but we talked about it for a while. She eventually made some comments that egregiously generalized the people I had met, lumping them in with the same general class of people I originally thought worked in the sex trade. As you can tell from my previous writings, I am horrible at detecting prejudice and bigotry in myself, but I think I am still decent at seeing it in others. Being fairly hypocritical, I couldn't let her misconceptions continue, so I told her in greater depth about the conversation I had with the wonderful folks at Paradise Lost. We had discussed literature, philosophy, and science; they weren't unintelligent people who couldn't do anything but spread their legs and moan.

    She had to leave and I wandered off to Paradise Lost to dance and talk. That was when I found out how dead Sunday nights in Second Life can be. This was still when there were frequently less than 10,000 concurrent users of Second Life.

    I was alone, when a man walked into Paradise Lost. I thought, "Yay! Someone to talk to." I invited him to join me in the really nice dance animation I shared with Helena the previous night. We talked about lots of different things, what he liked about Second Life, how I was a newbie and was still learning a lot about Second Life, and, in general, just learning about each other.

    It isn't until now, when I am writing this, that I realize he was probably showing up to Paradise Lost to find a dancer or an escort and I was the only one there, dressed as I was. I'm blushing in retrospect for what he thought I was. Does my cluelessness know no bounds?

    He eventually told me about the house he was building. It was a rustic cottage among trees he was proud of and had been working on. I hadn't built a thing in Second Life yet and was impressed that someone could build a house - I thought it would require a lot of effort, technical knowledge, artistic skill, and special tools. He offered to show it to me and I accepted while making the prescient comment, "Is this the Second Life equivalent of asking me back to your place to show me your etchings?" We both laughed at my clever bon mot and teleported back to his place.

    Second Life is incredible in that I could go back to a complete stranger's place within minutes of meeting him and feel perfectly safe - thank you Linden Labs for introducing me to a world I never knew existed, a world of safety. I have numerous friends who've been raped in Real Life and I have been in some situations that I thought were creepy and dangerous; one thing I am always cognizant of is the potential for being overpowered. It takes a while for me to feel comfortable enough with a guy to be completely alone with him. Meeting a guy in a club and minutes later going back to his home all alone is something that never would occur to me in Real Life. Second Life has introduced me to a feeling of safety and security that is unachievable in Real Life, thank you again Linden Labs - that experience alone is worth every penny I have given you.

    He showed me around the cottage, it was very nice and he had spent time and thought into making it very cozy. This is the first time I saw sex pose balls in someplace other than a display at a shop and I also saw pictures of an attractive avatar in a collar and silks. I innocently went around asking questions about everything.

    To reinforce with you how I act, I'd like to point out that I flirt constantly, with nothing more on my mind then enjoying a good laugh. I make frequent double entendres, fascinating myself with my own clever word-play and seeing if I can make better, more subtle, or more amusing ones all the time. It's a game I constantly play with myself and others just happen to be in the room providing the raw material for my fun; the world is my straight-man. Consequently, I have been accused on numerous occasions of being a tease. Not necessarily in such nice words either. Get used to it guys, just because I make a ribald comment or pun does not mean I immediately want to hop onto a sex pose ball with you.

    I mentioned how it was nearly impossible for men to not hit on women, especially when they were alone together. He demurred, stating that he was happy with the love of his Second Life. Considering all the pictures of her around, curiosity got the better of me and I asked him how he met her.

    "I met her in a rape room."

    Startled and uncertain what to say for once, I floundered while all sorts of thoughts streamed through my head. Eventually the story all came out. He went to a place where people pretend rape scenes. She wanted to be raped and was turned on by it, he was turned on by raping women, and he reassured me he would never do that in Real Life. Yeah, right guy, I've been to the Brooklyn Bridge and I didn't see any 'for sale' signs on it. I may be blonde, a bimbo, and a ditz but I am not stupid. Now she was his kajira and he was thoroughly in love with her. Not knowing what a kajira was I asked further and that was when Gor was introduced to me.

    So many things about this situation offended me on so many levels - rape, slavery, and the total abasement of one person to another. Here was a person who seemed very nice, perhaps a little strong and forceful, but confidence is a sexy trait, and he was telling me that he was turned on by raping women and owning them as slaves. So very matter of fact as if it was something the local church group would approve of. Visions of mousey men in dull suits sitting around talking about where to rape women, the best rape positions, and the correct whipping techniques crossed my mind. Ward Cleaver coming home from a hard day in the rape rooms to find June chained in her silks to a post in the kitchen where he gives her a light whipping and a kiss hello.

    Normally, I'm pretty much "whatever floats your boat", but some things are just patently offensive. This situation started to creep me out, but the guy still seemed completely normal. And then, despite all his protestations to the contrary he did the thing I expected all along, "May I kiss you?" came the query.

    As I predicted earlier and which he denied vehemently, he ended up hitting on me. I told him I was still new and had no idea how to kiss someone - I was still reeling from the whole rape and slavery thing and was just stalling while thinking. He showed me his kiss pose balls and we kissed briefly, mainly because I was curious and knew I was safe. I wanted to get out of there quickly. Finishing the kiss, I complimented him on his building skills and his choice of such a beautiful slave, but stated I had to get up early the next day and had to go.

    I teleported back to Paradise Lost, the closest thing I had to a sanctuary and home at that point. There were a few people around I had never met and I started to talk to them. Eventually, they all left and I was left alone in Paradise Lost when another man entered.

    We started up a conversation and began to dance the nice dance animation; I figured he couldn't be worse than the previous guy. Boy was I wrong :) [Edit: I know he will be reading this :P] Carl was a thin guy with a beard and, interestingly enough, a collar. This was the first time I'd seen a collar on someone besides the picture of that slave, so I asked him about it, why he wore if, if he too was a slave, etc. He stated he wasn't owned, but had been for a while, and deftly deflected most of my other questions about the subject.

    Carl was far better at verbal banter, and far more interesting than the previous guy. We started by talking about chess, since he just lost a match to someone from Paradise Lost and seemed miffed by it. He was far more my type of guy, articulate, slightly geeky, but in a cute and adorable way. We talked about me being a newbie and, as in most conversations with guys, the subject eventually turned to sex.

    After I expressed my lack of knowledge of cybersex and why it would be interesting, Carl tried to demonstrate a few lines he would type. I still didn't get it, I found it very hard to "get into" the head of the avatar and pretend like those things were happening to me. I laughed a lot, I giggled, and many times I unconsciously changed the subject to something besides sex. However, the subject always quickly returned to sex because of my continued joking about it.

    At some point in this conversation with Carl, I made the decision to have cybersex if I could figure out how to do it properly. Carl was going to be my guinea pig. Further talking with Carl came up with an analogy to dirty talking, something I had always been too embarrassed to do in Real Life, but finally, I hit upon the idea that seemed to work for me, the shared creation of a fantasy. Using the descriptions of actions like a play direction for actors or writing a story about the characters from a first person perspective. It still seemed pretty pointless, but at least I had an idea of the verbal mechanics. If I got it out of the way now, I could put a checkmark next to it on my constantly growing list of things to do in Second Life, then, I could proceed on with more productive ways to spend time.

    My intentions established, it still required Carl to be as patient as a saint and a Herculean effort on my part to remain serious for more than twenty seconds at a time for anything to happen. After a few hours of this (I never said I was rapidly successful in my effort, did I?), Carl finally mentioned which time zone it was for him and I realized he was three hours ahead of me and it was getting close to midnight for me. That sobered me up enough and I told him I wanted to try it but had no idea where to go. He had a place and we teleported back there.

    One of the things Carl and I kept returning to in our conversation was high heeled shoes. I was wearing my color changing stripper heels I purchased the previous day and Carl liked the look of them. One of Carl's turn-ons was women in high heels and we talked about it for a while. When we got back to his place, he wrote lines about what he wanted to do with my high heeled feet, meanwhile I made observations about his room and was joking about non-related topics for a while before I settled in and realized I was going to have to do something "appropriate". I wrote back lines about how sore my feet were from dancing in those high heels all night and how I appreciated the massage and the toe sucking. It felt very unreal and my attempts were not that good - I had no experience with online sex and it showed.

    Eager to show off my new purchases from Xcite and thinking that was "the way it is done in Second Life", I put them on and told Carl about them. Knowing Carl he probably made some remark about how "good girls like you pretend to be, don't immediately purchase that much Xcite gear." If he didn't say it, he probably thought it.

    Carl also removed his clothes and "put on" his cock. He showed me the "up" and the "down" positions. It felt like we were both showing off our genitals as if they were fashion statements and discussing their features as if they were cars or computers. I was about to make a joke here about cocks and measuring their performance in horsepower, but that would be tasteless. And besides, a man's cock just can't measure up - okay, let me take that back, I have now seen cocks in Second Life that are nearly as big as their owner. If they had that in Real Life, the first time it got hard, they would die due to lack of blood to their other brain.

    One of my "good girl" purchases at Xcite had been a blow job animation that I had installed in my "clit". I wanted to try it out, so I activated it and my avatar went down on her knees, grabbed an invisible cock in mid-air, and began to bob her head and stroke this non-existent penis. To say the least, I was disappointed, Carl was half-way across the room and my avatar was no where near him. Yet, there she was giving some ghost the blow job of his afterlife. It took a while to maneuver both avatars into place so that it looked nearly right.

    The little green text that kept displaying was nice, but it quickly got repetitive. It took me forever to describe the actions I would do in Real Life without thinking, but now I had to translate them into words. This was definitely unlike Real Life sex; I'm not a big 'thinking sex' person :) It was like learning to write good descriptive text in a story - I have problems in writing descriptive text because, after all, *I* can picture it perfectly in my head, so, I unconsciously concentrated on the action and dialog, devoid of the setting. No one wants to read a story like that, this was the same, I automatically pictured it in my head but failed to translate a lot of that into useful text.

    Around this time, my avatar had an orgasm, followed shortly by his avatar having an orgasm. Was I done? Was he done? How did this work? I'm used to more warning of an impending orgasm. In Real Life it would be time for him to roll over and go to sleep, but how did this work in Second Life? Still not quite getting the purpose of cybersex, I asked Carl if this was the end. We talked some more and discussed the problems of the animations, the Xcite gear, and I learned that the "arousal levels" were controllable. Carl had to go to bed; it was very late in the morning for me as well, so off to our respective Real Life beds we went.

    I've contemplated this question some over the ensuing months, what is the ultimate purpose of cybersex and what is the ending point? In Real Life, the shared experience, the physical demonstration of an emotional bond, the mutual pleasure, and the culmination in orgasm by one or both partners all contribute to the purpose and "when it's done". I've since had many cybersex experiences where my partner had Real Life orgasms and that seems a natural ending point for them and their avatar. However, I have also had numerous experiences where it became almost a competition to create more and more inventive text. In the end, only through "out of band" communications via IM were we able to agree on an ending point.

    This ended my introductory weekend to Second Life. I learned *a lot* about myself and this new virtual world that I was already addicted to. Thankfully, Real Life work was at a low point allowing me to plan more nights in the upcoming week that I could spend in Second Life. I already wanted to spend as much time there as possible, the exploration, the shopping, and the people were all major draws for me.

    In the end cybersex was an interesting experience. Trying to coordinate typing creative text, activating animations, fiddling with Xcite attachments, and removing clothes was a far more complex and involved process than I thought. It was even more difficult than walking and chewing gum, which as a blonde ditz, can be pretty trying at times. I'm not joking; this simple activity has caused numerous problems in my life. I'll be walking along, my mind will wander, and the next thing I know I've walked straight into a brick wall. I have had the scraped nose and headache to prove it.

    Next Chapter: One Woman's Porn Is Another Woman's Research

    Thursday, May 3, 2007

    Don't Stand So Close To Me

    NPR has a video interviewing a researcher from Stanford who studies Second Life social phenomena, the video, "Don't Stand So Close To Me", talks about proximity and staring and how the avatars in Second Life conform to Real Life societal norms about personal space. I don't buy all the conclusions discussed in the video, a lot of it was anecdotal without any statistics to confirm them, maybe the researcher has them, but they weren't talked about in the video.

    (Via The Click Heard Round The World)

    Monday, April 30, 2007

    Kurt Vonnegut Quote

    "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful who we pretend to be"
    - Kurt Vonnegut

    Wednesday, April 25, 2007

    Mistress Strangelove Is Running Behind

    Darn RL and its incessant demands - I'm sorry the chapter is running behind, but RL is really slowing me down this week. I will publish it as soon as I can.

    Wednesday, April 18, 2007

    Mistress Strangelove: Chapter 5: Would You Dance With Me?

    Mistress Strangelove or : How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Kinks

    The (Mis)Adventures Of A Reluctant Mistress

    Chapter 1 : A Shopping Addict Is Born
    Chapter 2 : My Inner Bimbo
    Chapter 3 : If The Nuns From My Catholic Grade School Only Knew
    Chapter 4 : With Bells On
    Chapter 5 : Would You Dance With Me?
    Chapter 6 : Its Harder Than Walking And Chewing Gum
    Chapter 7 : One Woman's Porn Is Another Woman's Research
    Chapter 8 : 'With Bells On' In Real Life

    In Real Life I was tired and my eyelids were drooping, but I wanted to go to one more place, Lost Dog, the store with the good, but expensive animation overrider I was looking at earlier. I wandered around their store looking at all the other animations first, trying out the dances and poses. And that's when I heard the five words that would change the course of my future in Second Life, although I didn't realize it at the time.

    "Would you dance with me?" came the query. "I'd like to test out this dance animation for my club and it would be easier if I had a partner," a beautiful blond in a little black dress named Helena Kirkorian said. Helena has a particularly ebullient chat style, I won't even attempt to replicate it or imitate it. You have to experience it yourself. I will instead stick to the essential things that were said.

    "You mean me?" I said looking around and finding out I was the only one standing nearby.

    "Yes, it won't take long and it would help me out a lot."

    "Sure," was my answer, the word that most defines me, and will probably be my epitaph.

    As I mentioned before, I am usually game to try out anything once. I dislike the 'contempt prior to investigation' attitude, even though, if you've noticed I've practiced it a lot in the first two days of my Second Life existance.

    I clicked on the pink portion of the duet dance and quickly began dancing a nice, solo dance.

    "That's not usual," the pretty blond said, "usually the avatar stands still until the other one is clicked on."

    I was willing to take her word for it, having never used a two person animation yet in Second Life. She clicked on the blue portion and we were quickly dancing a very well done dance.

    "I'm not used to leading," she joked as her avatar twirled mine about in a complex tango. "Those silks look really good on you, I can tell you've spent a lot of time making your avatar look good."

    I blushed. Here was someone with real Second Life experience complimenting me on my choices. I realized I must have been doing something right. After finding out I was a complete newbie, she stated she was even more impressed. All worries and regrets about spending all that money on my avatar melted away.

    We talked and danced for over an hour, while a series of friends of hers teleported in, chatted, and then went about their business. She told me about the club she ran, Paradise Lost, and that she was outfitting it with some more dances and this one seemed very good.

    Paradise Lost! That's one of my favorite works of literature. Milton packed more insight, characterization, and story into that one piece than most writers could possibly produce in their entire lives. I've read it enough times that I can't accurately count them.

    One of my favorite excerpts is the following:

    Is this the Region, this the Soil, the Clime,
    Said then the lost Arch Angel, this the seat
    That we must change for Heav'n, this mournful gloom
    For that celestial light? Be it so, since hee
    Who now is Sovran can dispose and bid
    What shall be right: fardest from him is best
    Whom reason hath equald, force hath made supream
    Above his equals. Farewel happy Fields
    Where Joy for ever dwells: Hail horrours, hail
    Infernal world, and thou profoundest Hell
    Receive thy new Possessor: One who brings
    A mind not to be chang'd by Place or Time.
    The mind is its own place, and in it self
    Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

    What matter where, if I be still the same,
    And what I should be, all but less then hee
    Whom Thunder hath made greater? Here at least
    We shall be free; th' Almighty hath not built
    Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
    Here we may reign secure, and in my choyce
    To reign is worth ambition though in Hell:
    Better to reign in Hell, then serve in Heav'n.
    But wherefore let we then our faithful friends,
    Th' associates and copartners of our loss
    Lye thus astonisht on th' oblivious Pool,
    And call them not to share with us their part
    In this unhappy Mansion, or once more
    With rallied Arms to try what may be yet
    Regaind in Heav'n, or what more lost in Hell?

    Note that within the space of such few lines, are introduced three phrases that are still well known in English.

    We talked about Paradise Lost (club and book), literature, religion, and philosophy. She invited me back to the club to see it and to meet a few people. In Real Life, I love dancing in clubs and having found out there were clubs in Second Life, I was anxious to see one, especially one themed after my favorite piece of literature. In Real Life, I've never seen a club with such a bold theme, they pander to the lowest common denominator, throw in a dance ball, a few lights, a fog machine, and let the DJ play some bland tracks and you have yourself a club.

    I quickly bought the AO I was debating about and we teleported back to Paradise Lost. Worries about how much it cost disappeared, I was energized about meeting people that I could talk about literature and philosophy with and I just wanted to get there quickly. The concept of listening to good music, 'dancing', and good conversation had a strong allure for me.

    At that time, Paradlise Lost was located at the end of a mall in a three story building. It was decorated as a cathredral with stained glass, a huge pipe organ, and an altar. Thankfully, in Real Life I had been to a brew pub set in an old cathedral where the brewing apparatus was on the altar, so a dance club in a cathedral didn't set off the Catholic blasphemy sense pounded into me and honed by years of instruction by nuns.

    It was gorgeous. I hadn't been in Second Life long, but this place was tremendous and I started to finally see what I assumed Second Life was going to be like - fantastic places brought to life in a virtual environment. It wasn't just about sex as I was starting to think from my trip to Xcite and and all the trollops I'd seen standing around and blinging. I oohed and aahed appropriately and commented about all the nice touches I noticed.

    I met Helena's friends, Dakota, Rob, and Brianicus. Some of the core people who ran the club. The place was empty except for us. Helena and I showed off the new dances to the others and we all joined in dancing and talking.

    I don't think I've had that much fun in a club in ages. We danced for hours more that night, talking about literature, science, philosopy, and religion. We made endless amounts of jokes based on religion, sex, and heaven and hell. This was truly the moment I became addicted to Second Life. Shopping is great, building is great, scripting is great, but finding people you are this comfortable with and have so much in common with is priceless. Mastercard could make a commercial about it.

    Where else could I talk about everything from cosmology, to literature, to Tao philosophy, make jokes filled with innuendo and sly puns, and listen to great Euro dance music? And better yet, have others talk about the same thing? I could go to any other club and hold a monologue on those subjects, but at Paradise Lost, I learned from the people around me. Here were people that could contribute to a conversation like that and seriously challenge my knowledge of them. I still haven't found a better place in Second Life and at that point, I resolved to go there as much as possible. This was incredible.

    After a few hours of this, came the next line that would change my Second Life for good. Helena had a streak going that night. Helena asked, "would you like to work here at Paradise Lost? You would fit in perfectly."

    Finally, here was the job offer I was looking for in my first day in Second Life and it was only my second day. Things were looking up for me. Paradise Lost seemed to be a great place to be, with wonderful people who had similar interests and tastes as I did. In Real Life, I'd ran raves, I'd worked in clubs, and I still went to them regularly - I was very suited to working in a dance club.

    "What would I be doing?" I asked excitedly.

    "Dancing and escorting," Helena replied and then added with a sly smile, "Although, you will have to interview with me before you can be an escort."

    Dancing! Escorting! I was in a den of the sex trade! How could that be? These people were well educated, fantastic conversationalists, and in general the complete opposite of my mental pictures of what escorts and people who worked in the sex business would be like. And worse, they saw me as someone who would be good in the sex business. I may be dressed like a hooker, I reassured myself, but I was nothing like one, okay, after meeting these people, perhaps I was similar to one, but I continued to cling to my resolve, I wasn't going to do it.

    The pieces of the puzzle began to click into place. The dance poles scattered about the place, took on a whole new meaning. They are not completely unusual in Real Life clubs nowadays where stripper chic has infiltrated the culture of acceptable behavior. Also, a few of the comments before started to make more sense. Yet again, I had been clueless and blond and couldn't add two and two to get a reasonable four.

    What was I to do? I couldn't insult these people, they were great and I wanted to spend more time talking with them. But, me, a stripper and escort? Never. Maybe I could just hang out here and talk with the people and not work here. Somehow, I could ignore what they did.

    "Thank you for the generous offer Helena, I'll think about it," I replied.

    We danced, talked, and laughed some more before everyone had to go to bed. My second day in Second Life had been a long one and I learned a lot and changed a lot. I went to bed with the whole concept of escorting and dancing running through my head. I was definitely not going to do either, but I definitely wanted to report back to my friend who had first mentioned the idea to me. Now I had tales to tell her of my own.

    My ideas about escorts had to shift, Helena and Dakota were wonderful and completely opposite to what I originally thought of as an escort. Evidently they could deal with their situation and reconciled it in their mind. But I was certain I would never do it, it was wrong, it was dirty, and it just wasn't for me.

    I may be a bimbo, I may be loose, and I may be easy, but I knew I wasn't so easy that waving a little money in front of me would get me into bed. I had my pride. Before going to bed with a guy, I had to like him or at least find him cute or be drunk. A momentary flash of what it would be like to be an escort crossed my mind and was instantly dismissed. As I drifted off to sleep, I knew it wasn't going to happen, I was adamant about that.

    Next Chapter: Its Harder Than Walking And Chewing Gum

    Monday, April 16, 2007

    The Growing Neko Fashion

    It seems a number of people are going 'Neko'. I should post pictures of my own Neko experiment and in an upcoming chapter of my memoirs, you will get a taste of my RL Neko day last Halloween.

    I love the link Vint posted to the Web Neko code that allows you to put a cute little Neko on you page. And I'm even happier that it works with Blogger.

    Click on the cute little cat and watch it run around your web page.

    Thursday, April 12, 2007

    Keep Your Friends Close And Your Enemies Closer

    I wrote up my one experience with the Alliance Navy in a previous post, where I ended up asking a number of the sailors I encountered, "Who is your enemy?" No one could answer that question. They had guns, they were told to guard the base, but they didn't know who to guard against. They ended up not being able to keep out a bored escort, I didn't think they would be successful against a determined enemy, especially if the enemy showed up in camoflage mini-skirts.

    Recently the Second Life Herald posted that the Alliance Navy is in a war! Finally, my question was answered.

    As reported earlier, attempts by Herald correspondent Urizenus Sklar to mediate peace talks failed recently and the Alliance Navy, one of the oldest military organizations in SL, and the Merczateers, a former ally of the Alliance Navy, began open warfare for the oldest causes of war in human history; land and pride.

    A few months ago, the Alliance Navy and the Merczateers were allies. As with any organizations that compete in the same arena, there was a certain amount of competition between the two but in general they shared the same goals and operated as well as any alliance can.

    So, the answer is that they fight with their erstwhile allies! The drama demonstrated in the comments to that article, is amusing. The guys, who are supposedly the stable, non-emotional and logical ones, are having a cat fight over hurt feelings and who stole who's knife. Evidently the admirals and generals are having a hissy-cow over some minor thing and started a war over it. And people say I can be moody and vindictive.

    If you substitute 'curling iron' or 'boyfriend' into this, you could have any old drama I'm used to seeing. The difference is that when someone steals my boyfriend, I do passive aggressive things like destroying their reputation by spreading the rumor that they are a slut. The guys, not to be out-done, do overtly aggressive things like launching a war and destroying property. Isn't there such a thing as "proportional response"?

    Make Me A Bimbo

    I was going through my Google Analytics and looking at what people who came to my site from Google searched for.

    make me a bimbo: Type this into Google and I'm the *third* result - yay me! In searching for just 'bimbo' to see if I placed in the top 10 pages, which I don't, I found this wonderful definition of bimbo: "Bimbo is short for the term 'body impressive brain optional'." That has got to be my new slogan.

    Perhaps I will start a deportment school to teach 'How To Be A Bimbo' to innocent wallflowers who want to blossom. Or write 'An Idiot's Guide To Being A Bimbo". Even better, write 'A Bimbo's Guide To....' I'm making a mental note to start a new series based on that idea as soon as possible. Heck, I'll trademark it :)

    Other notable Google search terms that lead to my page are:
    "second life" "mistress" escort: For which this site places *second* - now all I have to do is sit back and wait for the submissive male clients to roll in :)

    screaming catholic orgasm: Something I know *nothing* about. Or so I would have the nuns believe.

    second life alliance navy: Where I place on the fourth page. BTW, I found out who the Alliance Navy's enemies are. I will post that separately.

    Going through the referrals and the search terms is always amusing for a site. You end up discovering the weird things people search for.