How Not To Run For Governor

As I've mentioned before, I periodically browse my site stats and see if anything interesting turns up. One recent search that led to my blog struck me as funny, "how to campaign for governorship". I pity the poor political hopeful that tries to follow my example of running for governor.
Let's see:
1) Make a political speech based on a twisted version of a famous Shakespeare speech. Check.
2) Make a political speech based on a twisted version of a famous Lincoln speech. Check.
3) Disappear from sight for three months. Check.

I think this person has the governorship of their state in the bag. I bet the electorate is filled with literate Shakespeare lovers from the Union, who love a good laugh and no action.