Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Mistress Strangelove: Chapter 3: If The Nuns From My Catholic Grade School Only Knew

Mistress Strangelove or : How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Kinks

The (Mis)Adventures Of A Reluctant Mistress

Chapter 1 : A Shopping Addict Is Born
Chapter 2 : My Inner Bimbo
Chapter 3 : If The Nuns From My Catholic Grade School Only Knew
Chapter 4 : With Bells On
Chapter 5 : Would You Dance With Me?
Chapter 6 : Its Harder Than Walking And Chewing Gum
Chapter 7 : One Woman's Porn Is Another Woman's Research
Chapter 8 : 'With Bells On' In Real Life

It was getting late and I ended up talking to the same people that destroyed my credit card by telling me how to buy Lindens. The discussion eventually turned to money and how to make it. We talked about building, designing clothes, scripting, land sales, rentals, and a myriad other ways to make money. The first big name companies had just started to make islands in Second Life and the future looked bright - how were we to divert some of that money into our purses?

Mostly though, we just socialized, telling a little about ourselves and sharing in the excitement of hanging out with new people. I was fascinated by the interpersonal dynamics of Second Life, the fact that people had boyfriends and girlfriends and lived together in virtual houses. They had fights, drama, and all the tropes of Real Life, only transplanted into the virtual world. It was my first virtual world experience, I didn't know what to expect.

I laughed at the concept of giant, cartoon penises having relationship issues. It was only the first time of many that the fundamental absurdities of Second life would make me laugh so hard my sides hurt in Real Life.

Finally, only two of us were left talking and she offered to show me the house her and her boyfriend shared. We teleported over there and she showed me the place. It was nice with chairs, bedside tables, and everything. Very cosy looking. Its very normalcy was surprising.

I asked about her relationship with her boyfriend and that's the moment when the word, cybersex, entered my lexicon. A lot of discussion ensued while I tried to puzzle out this strange concept. I asked questions, laughing and blushing in Real Life as the details unfolded. She was great, telling me all about it and giving me examples of what she typed. Earlier, she alluded to something I might find interesting, but only when we were in private. Now that we were alone, I asked her what it was and the concept of Xcite genitals was introduced.

More discussion and more Real Life blushing and laughing ensued. Then came the demonstration. She showed me her clit, a very personal thing, and told me how it worked, about arousal levels, about the green text and animations. Then came a demonstration of the animations which ultimately resulted in her avatar screaming out an orgasm and sparks erupting from her clit. Laughing and giggling ensued as I talked about how absurd I thought it all was. My Real Life clit felt somehow deficient - fireworks never erupted from it no matter how good the orgasm.

We talked about how she once thought about being an escort, but ultimately rejected the idea. She asked me if I ever thought about being an escort and I told her I hadn't realized cybersex existed until she told me about it. Internally, I noted that I may be a bimbo, but I was not a prostitute, I had my pride.

Cue smugness over being a morally righteous person.

You may be wondering how I got to that point without knowing about cybersex and the sex trade in Second Life. Let me explain. In the articles I read, it did mention escorts briefly. In walking around I did encounter cyber-doxies with their blinging jewelry, sexy clothing, blond hair, and Playboy shapes. I knew about it in an abstract sense, but knew nothing of the mechanics of it, about cybersex, about the animations, etc. The concept sat in the back of my head, but I spent no time thinking about it and how it could possibly be accomplished. I thought it possibly meant arranging assignations in Real Life after meeting in Second Life.

When reading about Second Life, I never thought I would run into any of the sex trade. In Real Life, I've possibly seen a prostitute walking the streets once or twice in my life. I thought it would be nearly as rare. And certainly discussing being an escort as a viable option in normal conversation never crossed my mind as possible. I just asssumed, naively it turns out, that given all the potential inherent in a virtual world, people would do something more productive with it than have sex. I continually overestimate and underestimate humanity.

Already the cracks were appearing on the comfortable, naive shell I'd built around myself all my life. Growing up in a small farming community in the Midwest, going to a Catholic grade school, and, in general, thinking of myself as a 'normal' person had insulated me from thinking about the bulk of humanity.

I pride myself on my perspicacity, but, now, I realize my obtuseness is vastly larger than I ever suspected. I'd always thought that sex played a minor role in my life and I assumed others' lives. The realization that cybersex was common and that sex played a dominant role in other's lives began to dawn on me that second day. Finally, in writing this it hit me that I spend most of my time engaged in quasi-sexual activities. I spend inordinant amounts of time worrying about what men think, I spend a lot of time fixing my makeup and hair, I shop for sexy clothing, I go out a lot and flirt with guys, I had lots of sex in college and afterwards, and in general, I now realize, I spend a good portion of my time focused on activites centered around the human mating ritual.

Second Life has been very good for learning about my self. I always believed I was open-minded and tolerent. Now, reviewing all my thoughts and attitudes coming into Second Life, I realize I was as close-minded and intolerent as anyone else.

My friend had to go to sleep at that point, but I was too excited about Second Life to go to sleep. I decided to check out Xcite, looking couldn't hurt could it? The journey to Xcite was purely for informational purposes and a certain amount of morbid curiosity. I had no plans to ever have cybersex, it made no sense to me. Besides, I was too normal of a person to ever do that.

I was surprised that my friend considered being an escort. I *knew* I was never going to be an escort. Superficially, I recognized that I looked like one, but I knew I wasn't one of them. I was a nice, normal girl with a taste for sexy clothing. Escorts were dirty; I was clean and pure. Granted, for some, "'normal' American sex with lots of guys" definition of the word pure. Okay, maybe not always so 'normal'.

So, off went this clean, normal, and pure girl to the store to look at virtual genitals and sex gadgets as I mulled over the concept of cybersex. I may be easy and I may be slutty, I reassured myself, but at least I don't take money for sex.

Cue smugness over being a morally righteous person.

Next Post: Chapter 4 : With Bells On

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