Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Mistress Strangelove: Chapter 4: With Bells On

Mistress Strangelove or : How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Kinks

The (Mis)Adventures Of A Reluctant Mistress

Chapter 1 : A Shopping Addict Is Born
Chapter 2 : My Inner Bimbo
Chapter 3 : If The Nuns From My Catholic Grade School Only Knew
Chapter 4 : With Bells On
Chapter 5 : Would You Dance With Me?
Chapter 6 : Its Harder Than Walking And Chewing Gum
Chapter 7 : One Woman's Porn Is Another Woman's Research
Chapter 8 : 'With Bells On' In Real Life

My second day in Second Life was a Saturday and I spent all day logged in, I was addicted already and I hadn't noticed. I went to the Xcite store and looked around. The blushing and the laughing in Real Life continued as I saw clits, cocks, and more exotic accoutrements. I was constantly surprised at each new thing I discovered. I noticed the BDSM section and gave it a wide berth, I may be looking at pierced clits and cocks that erupt virtual semen, but I was not one of *those* sickos I reassured myself.

You may be wondering how I could be continually surprised at each new discovery. That, at some point, I would actually "get it". I have thought about it a lot and my only explanation is that I have terminal naiviety, a short-term memory like a sieve, and an attention span that makes a hyperactive gnat look like a Zen Master.

In the end, my shopping addict took over and I bought "one of everything". Well, one of everything that a nice, wholesome, normal American girl would buy. You know, a clit, nipple clamps, belly piercing, hair, butt, lips, sounds, a HUD, and animations for all occasions. The type of things your mother would approve of, you know, normal.

Somehow, I was purchasing all of these things without the slightest conscious intention of using them. Probably a subconscious part of me was intrigued and thought trying out cybersex once would be informational. And I couldn't disappoint my future cybersex partner by not being fully "accessorized", could I? Besides, I'd always said to myself I'd do most anything once, I dislike the "disdain before investigation" attitude. Rationalization, your name is Tiessa.

Having completed that shopping spree, in which I bought *more* Lindens, I was now fully outfitted. Proper Second Life sex was expensive and I still had no examples of how it worked or what occurred. You may wonder why I didn't go about cybersex in a more cautious, learn as you go, and incremental purchase method. If you scan back over the preceeding paragraphs, I'd like you to notice the words blond, ditzy, naive, and shopaholic which are all important parts of the answer. Also, if I tended to be that type of person I wouldn't have a life reminescent of a Lucille Ball skit, I wouldn't have any of these experiences, and you wouldn't be reading this from me but rather from some other occasionally self-reflective blonde ditz.

I am a perfect example of Santayana's "doomed to repeat it" comment as it applies to personal experiences and history. I don't usually commit the same mistake twice, but I do make similiar mistakes by not properly generalizing what happens to me or carefully considering my actions in light of previous incidents. In the end though, I don't really want to "fix" that about me. I enjoy being me to no end and only when my mistakes harm others do I feel motivated to change.

My personal philosophy is pretty simple, approach everything as if you were a child seeing it for the first time. The continual wonderment over the marvelous universe where each tree and blade of grass is unique and deserving of hours of examination is central to who I am. Its why I became a biologist and why I have an abiding love for cosmology. I frequently say, "I may grow older, but I will never grow up." In the end, I don't want to lose that fresh view of everything. Perhaps I'm an experience junky who enjoys the continual rush of newness.

That's also how I approach people - I like meeting people and experiencing them the same way I do everything else. I love the uniqueness and differentiation between individuals, what motivates each person and why they do what they do. Unfortunately, I am also an inveterate meddler when it comes to other people. I like to "help" people, where "help" is often defined as "what I think they need." You'll see numerous examples of that in the coming tales.

The one Xcite gadget I purchased that I was squeemish about was the nipple clamps. However, given the choice between an invisible "no jewelry" option for boobs and a "with jewelry" option, I had to go for the jewelry, didn't I? It was a bargain, functional jewelry for only a few Lindens more than the base model. Besides the model I chose had bells on it and when I walked they jingled. After that discovery I wore them everywhere, polite company or not, I loved the sound of them jingling. And it was easy to cognitive dissonance away the fact that the jingling was actually bells clamped to my nipples that shook when my boobs wobbled as I walked, in fact, until I began to write this sentence I never really realized that. I'm blushing heavily in retrospect for many months of cluelessnes.

When I was buying my blue silks at the beginning of this shopping spree, I noticed a couple of trashily dressed girls who must have been hookers. They were blinging from every attachment point on their body and dressed in skimpy, sexy clothes. All I knew was that I was not one of those types of girls. I had style, sophistication, and class. Somedays I wonder how I never saw "normal" clothing during that first day in Second Life, no t-shirts, jeans, or sweaters. The first few shops I went to had silks and it was all downhill from there. Besides, its 'warm' in Second Life and I had no need of wearing jeans or sweaters for weather purposes. I wouldn't wear them to the beach would I? I'd wear a skimpy bikini like I do in Real Life. Second Life was one big opportunity to wear beach clothing as far as I was concerned.

At the beginning of my second day in Second Life, I was dressed in newbie clothes I created myself. At the end, I had platinum blond hair, blue silks, stripper shoes, big boobs, and all the Xcite toys my poor avatar could carry. I was fully kitted out, but I kept rationalizing that I may be a bimbo, but a bimbo with class. I was not trashy or even worse, a prostitute like those other women I saw today, I just happened to dress exactly like one.

Next Post: Chapter 5: Will You Dance With Me